The Quixotic Pastor

After a VERY Long Break ...

2010-02-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

... I think it is time I started blogging again. Why?

One reason is that it appears that I have more to say than what I can say during my sermons and teaching time at church.

Another reason is that some people think that I am a gifted writer and that I have been neglecting that part of my identity and work.

A third reason is that progressive religious voices lack access to mainstream media and, hence, the public view of what Christianity is has been skewed toward a right wing agenda. Everyone who considers his or herself a religious progressive needs to begin shouting from the rooftops and demanding to be heard --that will not happen unless we take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself to proclaim the Gospel as we have experienced and understand it.

Perhaps the most compelling reason is that, in the current political climate in Michigan and the rest of the United States, the political and religious right is once against trying to consolidate their power by lying about, demonizing and creating baseless fears about LGBTQ persons. The best thing I know to do about that is to be out and proud about my faith, my sexual orientation, my life experience.

More later!

Sunday 15 March Sermon

2009-03-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

I am very much indebted to many Revgalblogpals and Jan Richardson especially for my thoughts in this sermon.

I know that, beginning with Pentecost, I will be preaching to my congregants about what it means to be church and different ways of being church. Being church is different from doing church --I know this in my heart and gut, but not sure how to articulate the difference.

However, I got a start on defining that difference in this sermon.

I read an article on the Common Dreams website about how people in the US are turning away from the church and becoming increasingly secularized, America, One Nation Under No God by Michelle Goldberg. Seeing articles like this one reminds me that something is terribly wrong when the church becomes identified with corrupt and corrupting instititutions, self-serving religiosity, anti-intellectualism, patriarchy, capitalism, exclusion, injustice ... and I could go on and on.

OTOH, the Spirit is always waiting to form and reform communities of faith --perhaps the Spirit is speaking to those of us within the church in the voices of those who are outside the church, if we have the ears to hear.

1 March 2009 Sermon

2009-03-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

Although this feels very risky to me, I have decided that, since I am recording my sermons for the benefit of some folks who are missing service here at DPMCC, I might as well post them on my blog.

It feels risky because I do not manuscript my sermons, and sometimes I create what I say on the fly, trusting the Spirit to lead me and guide me.

But I have already begun posting sermons on DPMCC's Facebook page, so it seems reasonable to post them here as well.

Eventually, there will be a link to this site from the church's modified and updated webpage.

The Fork In The Road Friday Five

2009-02-27T08:51:00.000-08:00

Singing Owl from Revgalblogpals shares:

"I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?"

1. Age 19 --Professed my faith in Jesus Christ for the first time and became a Christian, instead of an Agnostic. Started on a path of discipleship, which changed my life in many not-so-obvious ways and at least one BIG way because ...

2. Age 21 --Said YES my call to ordained ministry and began exploring ordination. Changed my major in college from engineering to mathematics so I could pick up some more appropriate courses without having to start over again completely. Began candidacy/formation in the United Methodist Church, started seminary, ordained a Deacon in 1988, graduated seminary 1990, ordained an Elder 1991.

3. Age 30 --Came out as a lesbian [without any advance warning] to my district superintendent and bishop, resigned my credentials for ordination and moved my church membership to an MCC congregation in Dallas --all in the same month. That was one BIG fork in the road, let me tell you ... but also a way in which I said YES to God.

4. Age 34 --Began the process of having my ordination reaffirmed in MCC, because "the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable" and She is persistent in grace and love.

5. Age 35 --Met DH, the woman who would become my life partner. Moved with her to Michigan about a year and a half later, where our life together and my ministry has taken some interesting turns ...

2009-02-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

Sophia shares this Memorable Pet Friday Five:

"My son's tiny beloved lizard, Elf, is looking and acting strange this week. His skin/scales are quite dark, and he is lethargic. We are adding vitamin drops to his lettuce and spinach and hoping and praying that he is just getting ready to shed his skin--but it's too soon to tell. Others in the ring have also been worried about beloved pets this week. And, in the saddest news of all, Songbird has had to bid farewell to her precious Molly, the amazing dog who is well known to readers of her blog as a constant sacrament of God's unconditional love. So in memory of Molly, and in honor of all the beloved animal companions who bless our lives: tell us about the five most memorable pets you have known."

1. Pooter. He walked into my kitchen 17 years ago and since then we've been inseparable. He is the most affectionate cat I have ever known. He even comes when he is called [unless he is eating.] He likes to drink beer out of my guests' glasses when we're not looking. Pooter is a character!

2. Angel. My friend found Angel on I-35 near Denton Texas and saved her from certain death. Lou advertised for the owner, but when one was not found, Angel became mine, not because I like dogs, but because I had a fenced backyard. Angel has grown on me for 12 years, but DH really, really loves her. No matter where she is in the house, Angel can hear the sound of a piece of diced carrot or potato hitting the kitchen floor and will run to get it.

3. Ellie. I wish I could get to a pic of sweet Ellie, but I can't right now. Ellie was DH's dog, a dachshund something mix who was just so precious. Ellie was my favorite dog ever. She loved to curl up in your lap and be petted. Although she was about the same size as Pooter, she took up as much room in the bed as DH or I. Ellie crossed over that rainbow bridge about 3 years ago.

4. Deeogee. DH's sheltie, who was in my life for only about 2 years, but in DH's life for much longer. She was sooooo smart, and sooooo pretty. When the arthritis crippled her back legs, she was still so full of life and energy that DH ordered a doggie wheelchair for her --she was next to unstoppable when she got it. Deeogee crossed over in 2000, and is buried in a pet cemetary near Bowie, Texas.

5. Boy. Boy was DH's dad's "golden receiver". DH's dad never trained Boy, except to do his doggie dooties outside, and fed him pretty well only the leftovers from the restaurants he frequented. When Boy got to be too much for DH's failing and increasingly fragile dad, we took Boy. When we got him, he was about 25 pounds over weight, he was diabetic, he smelled to high heaven and his fur was matted with motor oil, grease and God knows what. We started with a tub bath ... then 6 to 8 weeks of a strict dog food only diet, lots of playful exercise with Angel, walks with the mamas made a new dog out of him. The early excesses of his life did get to him and his heart gave out --he crossed over in 2007.

Friday Five: My Favorite Things

2009-02-06T09:20:00.000-08:00

Songbird from the Revgalblogpals shares this affirming Friday Five:

"In a week of wondering how various things in our family life will unfold, I found myself thinking of the way Maria comforted the Von Trapp children in one of my favorite movies. Frightened by a thunder storm, the children descend upon her, and she sings to them about her favorite things, taking their minds off the storm. So, let's encourage ourselves. Share with us five of your favorite things. Use words or pictures, whatever expresses it best."

Heh heh. It would be fun to revisit this F5 in about 6 months and see how my answers are different. But today, here's what I say.

1. Several days of sunshine after dark, dreary, gloomy days

2. The prospect of warmer temps and --dare I say it? early spring rains? [Naaawww, can't be, that's just wishful thinking in Michigan in February ...]

3. Easter. Easter I live for, Christmas I live through ...

4. DH and my 10th anniversary is the week after next. Wow ...

5. The desire for green, growing things and dreams of gardening.

Creating Change, some thoughts

2009-02-05T07:51:00.000-08:00

For many, many years now, generally in the last part of January, first part of February, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force ["the Task Force"] hosts a gathering of 2000+ national and international activists called Creating Change.

Last week, as a volunteer with a local program of the American Friends Service Committee, I travelled to Denver to this gathering to learn various advocacy skills from experienced activists, to challenge and be challenged, and to look at the intersections between advocacy work for the LGBTQIQAetc community and peace, inclusion and justice work for other communities that suffer under the weight of patriarchy, privatized privilege and poverty.

One trend developing within the Creating Change community that I deeply appreciate --and celebrate that I see it happening with other LGBT advocacy groups as well-- is a new emphasis on LGBT persons reclaiming their spirituality, even their Christian spirituality.

In other words, room is being made at the table for persons of faith in a gathering where religion and spirituality have almost always been suspect. The queer community has tended to assume that, because some religious voices are oppressive, all religious voices are oppressive. Christianity is particularly evil within this paradigm: if some Christians are heterosexist, then all Christians must be. If some Christians are anti-science, anti-intellectual, then all Christians must be ... and so forth and so on.

More than once in my life when people have known I was queer and I came out as a Christian, I have basically been accused of "fraternizing with the enemy" and "demonized" as an oppressor myself.

I am so glad to see that changing for many reasons. When it comes to LGBT civil rights, I think this is of particular importance since so much of the voice of the opposition comes from religious people and organizations who have co-opted the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ to serve their own political ends, to exclude those whom they fear and to shore up their own power and privilege.

BTW, one reason why I am reflecting here about this is that I have to submit a report for our program's website about my experiences at Creating Change.

Cabin Fever Friday Five

2009-01-23T08:54:00.000-08:00

Singing Owl posts the following for Revgalblogpals FF5 reflection:

"Here in snow country we are settled in to what is a very long stretch of potentially boring days. The holidays are over. It is a very long time till we will get outside on a regular basis. The snow that seemed so beautiful at first is now dirty and the snow banks are piling up. Our vehicles are all the same shade of brownish grey, but if we go to the car wash our doors will freeze shut. People get grumpy. Of course, not everyone lives in a cold climate, but even in warmer places the days till springtime can get long. Help! Please give us five suggestions for combating cabin fever and staying cheerful in our monochromatic world?"

I must admit this is something at which I am not very successful. I am looking forward to seeing other people's FF5s, because I need help with this. However, there are a few things that appear to work for me.

1. Take up a new indoor past time/hobby --one winter I started researching my family's genealogy on the internet.

2. Do interior decorating. Move the furniture around. Do interior "Spring Cleaning" during Winter so that, when Spring finally arrives, you'll have more time to get out and enjoy it!

3. Go to Home Depot, Menard's, Lowe's or someplace like that and hang out in the lighting department.

4. Make it a point to play in the snow when possible. Go sledding. Build a snowman. Borrow children if necessary.

5. On those rare sunny days, go outside and take pictures of winter and e-mail them to your friends and family who live in places where snow is almost unheard of.

I Can Now Blog The Unbloggable

2008-11-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

As someone reminded me just this past Sunday, it has been about 5 months since I last blogged, but once you read this [if any of you notice that I am back ;) ] I think you will understand why.

This Sunday, appropriately the first one in Advent, I preach my first sermon as the new Pastor of Divine Peace Metropolitan Community Church in Pontiac, Michigan. [The website needs some updating! They have been waiting for me to "arrive."] It is a larger congregation than the other two I have served here in the great State of God's Left and Right Hands. It is still a part-time pastorate [at this point in time, but they have had a full time pastor for many years previously] but it is one pastorate at one church [not two!] that pays an excellent salary, enough that I will not have to work in Korporat Amerika in order to feed, clothe and shelter myself and Dear Heart.

This has been quite the process. First, it took me awhile to figure out if this was the right move, to discern whether this was God's call or something different. Then the pastoral search team from my new congregation, who had a number of applicants for their pulpit, had to discern which among those number to call. Then I had to candidate one weekend. Then they had to vote. Then I had to give notice to my previous congregation.

So I am feeling sad, ecstatic, excited, nervous --and trying very much to listen and discern. And wishing I had more time to read.

Besides all of the benefits for me from moving, there is one very important family-related benefit for DH and I. This will allow us to be more available to Pistol, DH's 79 year old mother, who lives largely independently and just needs someone to chauffeur her [she can only see with the aid of some very large and powerful magnifying glasses] and check in on her periodically. Our nearness we hope will allow Pistol to continue to live independently for as long as possible out of the hopefully many years she has remaining to her.

DH and I have acquired a new rental house [in a community within 4 miles of my new church, 15 minutes away from Pistol's home] about which we are very, very excited --although we both hate moving!!! The moment we saw this house, it had such a positive energy/aura/spirit, we knew it was the one we wanted. We are in the process of painting about half of its interior surfaces so that it is ready to move into December 6, our big moving day. There's still some more deep cleaning to be done in the kitchen too, a large wonderful kitchen with new everything!!! The house is located in what is basically a suburb, but it has a very rural feel since it is located across from a small lake in the Clinton River watershed. There's a nice size yard, just right in size, with two garden patches where the previous tenants gardened organically. Lots of trees, without there being too many. Lots of windows, lots of natural light, a must for me, especially this time of year.

We also have to complete the painting projects we started for our old house as well --but that will wait until it is empty.

Although my last Sunday at my previous congregation was November 23, I still have some loose ends to tie up for them and to assist them to the degree I can with the transitions that must be made. I hope to get those completed by Moving Day.

Then, the second week in December, DH and I are off to Texas for Christmas with my family, the first visit I have had with them in nearly 3 years.

It is a very, very busy time --but also, a very "Adventy" time, for God is doing many new things in my life and the lives of those who have been/will be intertwined with mine.

If you are reading this, please keep me and mine in your prayers!

Yes, I Am Alive And Well

2008-07-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

Hi all!

It has been nearly 3 months since I have blogged --so sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth virtually speaking, and thanks to those who expressed concern.

I really miss the RGBPs, and occasionally I do get to check in. But, although I am still preaching every Sunday, I have been taking Saturday as my day off sacrosanct --which means I typically do not get on the PC. At all. Imagine.

The insurance company associated with Faux Bavarian City in SE Michigan hired me away from the temp agency I was working for, so I spend my days in the office here in the Land of Lutherans, staring at not one, but two PC screens. I am well paid, have excellent benefits, but continue to be somewhat amblivalent about working in corporate america/Korporat Amerika again.

I come out one person at a time, speaking of my partner, and so far no one has turned a hair. I even told my boss' boss that I am a clergyperson in the first Christian denomination to welcome LGBT persons as well as a LGBT activist and and would be interested on working on a team to build diversity if that were ever an option here, and just received a big smile.

One of the really interesting things about working at my secular job is that, no matter how increasingly polarized our US culture becomes, people here seem pretty well to check their politics and religion at the door, and focus on the business and its needs. There's not even that much gossip, nor a whole lot of personal inquiries.

My little church keeps on keeping on. What has been a particular joy to me is the Wednesday evening Adult Christian Ed class we began in April. We looked at "Where Did The Bible Come From" first, then next the Seven I Am Statements of Jesus from the Gospel of John, and now we are reading and discussing together C S Lewis' The Great Divorce.

I have a few unbloggable things going on having to do w/ DH's job and some personal stuff, which consumes a great deal of my time for reflection and prayer. Someday perhaps, I will be able to share more fully, but not now. It is neither bad nor good, it just is unbloggable.

And now I am at the end of my lunch 45 minutes, so need to get back to work. Grace and peace to you if you are reading this!

Beth

84 Votes: A Reflection

2008-05-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

The 2008 General Conference of the United Methodist Church had 990 delegates this year, if I read the delegation count materials correctly.

According to the latest news from Soulforce, as well as the UMC's own General Conference news website, the delegates voted 501-417 to retain the current language in the Book of Discipline which states that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.

84 votes make the difference between the denomination actually living up to its slogan --a slogan personally painful to me every time I hear it-- "open hearts, open minds, open doors."

Because it's bullshit.

Because the reality is that the UMC as a denomination does not "officially" open its doors to me and people like me. If the denomination wants to avoid the appearance of hypocrisy at worst or disingenuousness at best, it should return to "Catch the Spirit" or some other slogan. Or add the footnote *LGBT persons need not apply.*

Another caveat could be added --unless you're willing to be a second class citizen of the ecclesia, sit quietly at the back of the church bus and pretend to be someone you're not.

The UMC should also, while they're legislating people's lives, discontinue the practice of infant baptism.

[Yes, this is my opinion. Yes, it is an angry one. I acknowledge I am angry and disappointed. Why aren't you?]

Because if that baby child of God who is fully welcomed into the church one Sunday morning and is fully included in the life of the church at confirmation grows up to be LGBT, his or her welcome and inclusion will be diminished. Hopefully the infants whom a pastor lovingly paraded up and down the center aisle of a worship center and promised that the people in these pews would teach and love and nurture in the Christian faith don't ever come out as LGBT and discover that the UMC or another church often fails to keep its promises ...

Because what if those children's discipleship journey leads them to embrace their identities as LGBT children of God, fully created in God's image and affirmed as a part of God's intention for creation? Each one of them will have to make a very painful decision between parting company with a church that reneges on its promises, or remaining within a church waiting for it to "catch up" with the Holy Spirit of God. [Maybe that should be the new UMC slogan.]

On the other hand, I celebrate that it is "only" 84 votes ... although I know the reality that it often takes the "legislation" from conferences many years to trickle down to the grass roots of the churches.

I am so grateful for the witness of LGBT Christians and allies who faithfully and lovingly testify to their experience of God's grace, love and care for them in the face of misunderstandings and disagreements --as well as sometimes out and out lies, misinformation and violence that are spread by some people who choose to deal in fear instead of love. Thank you Soulforce, Reconciling Ministries Network and so many other organizations and groups dedicated to the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life of the church.

I am really sorry that the majority report which suggested the UMC acknowledge that “Faithful, thoughtful people who have grappled with this issue deeply disagree with one another; yet all seek a faithful witness” didn't pass --because that is truth for the UMC and most other mainlines as well.

It's why there were only 84 votes making the difference.

I didn't mean to sound whiny

2008-04-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

Since the software system I work on at work is waaaay down, a serious crash, I have extra time in my day.

To offset what might be received as the whininess of my last post, I ought to say that I am GLAD that ...

... I am the pastor to a small, yet wonderful community of people to whom it is my privilege to teach the Bible to this evening. We're finishing up a unit on "where the Bible came from" in which they get to learn how the Bible came to be.

... my partner DH still loves me --February next year will be our tenth anniversary.

I think in general I'm just experiencing a little "middle-aged" crazy right now. A real honest to God day off will help --and soon I will get one. think I'll find someone to preach for me on a Sunday soon, so I can take the weekend to putter around the house and do small things that give me joy, like simple yardwork and simple repairs --or maybe DH and I will escape somewhere closeby for a weekend.

I have been thinking about decorating my cubie here at work since it appears I may become more of a permanent fixture around here than I first anticipated. There will be many prayer texts and my own personal iconography, as well as pictures of DH and I together, which should generate some interesting questions, discussions and stories. But I haven't had the time at home to select what I want. This weekend, which is anticipated to be a rainy one, will be a good time for that.

MIA and Wishing and Waiting

2008-04-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm missing-in-action!

First, I am waaaay behind on blogging, thanks to my 52 hour per week work schedule and a few family crises:

We carried Angel the Aussie in to the vet about two weeks ago and were told that she had fluid in her chest cavity [not the same as in her lungs] about which not much can be done. The vet said we could try lasik to see if we could get the fluid out and if that didn't work, we'd probably have to put her down. Good news --the lasik is working fabulously, but we do have to make sure she gets outside more to do her business. There's a very real possibility that some kind of cancer is involved --but there appears to be a lot of life left in the ol' girl yet.

The period of unseasonably warm weather here in Michigan meant time to do various springtime chores --replace the storm windows with screens [otherwise we would have baked in our house] rake the leaves out of the front flowerbeds so the perennials coming back could be healthy, prune the trees before the leaves come and the drop off the branches at the lawn debris place and so forth.

Then Sunday before last, DH had to make a flying trip down to Pontiac to take her mom to the hospital --Pistol [that is DH's mom's blog name] sure enough had pneumonia. This coincided with a very difficult and stressful work week for DH so I made several trips after work in the evenings to tag team with DH visiting her mom and checking up on her, which made for some pretty long days.

While Pistol was in the hospital, she received word that her last surviving sibling and favorite brother had died from the effects of Alzheimers.

Our oldest cat, Corky the Crazy Calico, 17 years old, is having grave difficulty walking [she walks like a drunken sailor on a 3-day leave] and we're debating whether her time has come or not. On the other hand, she can still leap up on the bed, the chair, the couch. She doesn't appear to be in pain, one of her back legs just seems to not work the way it is supposed to.

But I also feel like I'm MIA because I don't have the time or the freedom to be the activist I once was.

While I am very grateful to have the job I do have right now, because I need the paycheck and because the state of the economy scares me, and this company wants to hire me on their payroll as opposed to the temp agency's [in fact one of the things I had to do last week was complete an application online], I really don't like the work. It is quite boring. And I am not convinced I fit in very well here.

I am suddenly feeling very lonely these days.

So I am on the lookout for other possibilities ...

I do not like having to choose between living and making a living.

But that's a choice my congregants often have to make as well, especially in these economic times.

200th post and "For The Bible Tells Me So"

2008-04-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yes indeed, post 200 ...

Last night, I finally was able to watch the documentary, For The Bible Tells Me So which featured five US families coping with having an LGBT child and dealing with all of the surrounding faith issues.

If full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life of the church is something you are struggling with, or people you know are struggling with, I hope you'll take an hour and a half out of your life to view this award winning documentary.

Here's a few "moments" I experienced when I watched:

Seeing actual hate mail that Bp. Gene Robinson received. The scariest piece was the one that featured a picture of +Gene and his partner Mark, with a death threat clearly spelled out in cut out letters.

Hearing Rev Mel White describe the experience of sitting across from a Presbyterian faith leader who said that homosexual persons should be put to death. Mel asked the man if church people should do that. The man's response was that, no, secular authorities should take care of it --that's why it was so important to put "god-fearing men" in political office.

Listening to the confession of a broken-hearted parent whose lesbian daughter committed suicide before they could reconcile. The last words this mother and daughter exchanged were harsh and angry ... exchanged via mail ... Mary Lou Wallner, in the aftermath of her daughter's death founded with her husband Bob TEACH Ministries

Seeing Jake Reitan, and his parents Phil and Randi, together attempt to deliver a letter Randi had written to Dr James Dobson. When Soulforce showed up on Focus on The Family's doorstep that year, their offices closed down rather than risk being confronted by people who disagree with Dr. Dobson on homosexuality. The Reitan family was warned that they would be arrested for trespassing if they crossed onto Focus property. They walked on together. Phil Reitan's comment was that James Dobson had been persecuting the Reitan family for years.

Anyway, check out this movie when you have opportunity.

Catching Up

2008-04-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

Whew. So my blog has been a casualty of my recent 52-55 working hours a week lifestyle [full-time secular job, part time church job], and Spring sunshine to some degree, but I hope that can change.

I am feeling isolated a bit from many friends and peers, because I have no ready access to a phone while I am at work [unless I'm at lunch or on break], can't Skype or IM people, can't spend much time in Facebook, etc etc etc.

On the other hand, having a bigger and better paycheck is allowing me to better sustain myself and DH, and that is important right now.

I'll blog more later, perhaps after Dancing With the Stars --DH and I have a regular standing date to watch that show.

A Good Five For Good Friday

2008-03-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

Revgalblogpal RevHrod brings us a timely and thoughtful Friday Five today:

As a child the designation "good" for today confused me. How could we call such a somber day, good? Holy, yes. Blessed, yes. But, good? As an adult I understand the meaning of good for this day. It is a solemn day of remembrance but it is also a time for us to stop and recall the great gift of love that we received this day. And that is most certainly good. Our worship today will differ from place to place. Some services will focus on the great litany of prayers. Others will use the seven last words of Jesus. Some of us will walk the stations of the cross. Others will participate in a Tennebrae service of shadows and light. I hope that this Friday Five will be a meaningful part of your Good Friday. God's blessings to you on your journey.

Our prayer concerns are as varied as we are this day. For whom would you like us to pray?
Pray for individuals and communities who are struggling to be and do church authentically. Pray for a world that seems on the brink of entering another Dark Age.

Are there things you have done or will do today to help the young ones understand this important day in our lives? Not too many young ones around me, unfortunately. But I think I might try to explain that Jesus loved God and loved us so much he was willing to embrace the scariest thing in the whole wide world ...

Music plays an important part in sharing the story of this day. Is there a hymn or piece of music that you have found particularly meaningful to your celebrations of Good Friday? I always listen to a requiem mass on this day, usually Rutter or Faure, but perhaps I will find something different this year.

As you hear the passion narrative, is there a character that you particularly resonate with?
This year, I've been sort of fascinated by Barabbas --if there is a Patron Saint of Survivor Guilt, it might be him. I know what it is like to be a part of a community that is often dehumanized as a political pawn --Barabbas was something of a political pawn. One wonders if Barabbas realized the entirety of the significance of Jesus' life being exchanged for his and if he ever figured it out and how his life might have been changed ... or did he just enjoy getting off "scot free." I know there's a book and a movie or two exploring that question --maybe I will have time to read again some day?

Pilate and his wife fascinate me too --Dorothy Sayers, in the radio play she wrote for the BBC back in the early part of last century, available in book form as "The Man Who Would Be King" says that the dream that Pilate's wife had was the hearing of millions of voices across time and space, reciting over and over again, "was crucified under Pontius Pilate." The "pontius pilate solution," his attempt to wash his hands of responsibility for the event of Jesus' death, failed miserably.

I'm Barabbas when I am tempted by cheap grace; I'm Pilate when I evade the responsibilities of leadership and the doing of justice for those who are victimized by power.

I'm also Pilate when I am scared to death to do the right and just thing or give in to that which is expedient instead of that which is just ...

I wish I could be more like Veronica and Simon of Cyrene --see someone suffering, do something simple to ease, comfort and help out, freely or under compulsion.

Where have you seen the gracious God of love at work lately? In my tiny little faith community ... in the love of my partner ... in the online communities of which I am a part.

Passion Narrative

2008-03-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

Well, as I shared with a commenter on the previous post, my dvd of these two videos I put together for last Sunday wouldn't play on the church's DVD player ... but at least I can share them with you all.

Maybe the passion narrative will help some of your thoughts around Good Friday.

RDQ Produces A Video --Of Sorts

2008-03-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

I think I just graduated into journeywoman geekdom.

I wanted to do something kind of different with Palm/Passion Sunday this year, so I started fooling around with the Windows Media software on the church's new PC.

So here's a video of the palms reading for tomorrow, complete with images ...

Unfortunately, I'm the narrator, so my Texas twang does emerge in a few places. I wanted to use the audio from Bible Gateway, but I think it was copyrighted so I couldn't.

Palms Friday Five

2008-03-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Mother Laura shares this Friday Five with the Revgalblogpals: Can you believe Daylight Savings Time is here already? It's hard to get used to the new, earlier onset. My family has been getting up and out a little late and a little sleepy in the mornings.

And can you believe that in two days it will be Palm Sunday for Western Christians? Our Lent is almost over, while our Orthodox sisters and brothers, whose liturgical year follows the older Julian calendar, are just starting theirs. Nicholas did a recent book report on George Washington, and we were surprised to find out that our first President's birthday was originally Feb. 11, since he was born just before the change to the Gregorian calendar. Apparently the change almost caused rioting, as some indignant people were sure that they were being cheated out of eleven days of their lives!

To help you adjust--and enjoy the process--here's a Friday Five about time and transitions....

1. If you could travel to any historical time period, which would it be, and why?
Probably colonial US, so I could get some answers for the questions and solve some of the mysteries my genealogical research has produced.

2. What futuristic/science fiction development would you most like to see?
The replicator from Star Trek, the Next Generation. It would probably cost a fortune. On the other hand, once it was procured, would one ever have to work for money again?

3. Which do you enjoy more: remembering the past, or dreaming for the future? Dreaming for the future

4. What do you find most memorable about this year's Lent?
Um ... lent? Oh, oh, yeah ... we are in Lent, aren't we? I think I had Lent during Advent this liturgical year.

5. How will you spend your time during this upcoming Holy Week? What part do you look forward to most?
Doing more of the same, I expect. We don't do any special holy week services with my tiny little congregation. There's a community-wide Good Friday service that I may attend since I have the day off from my secular job. Several of our area choirs and orchestras are performing requiems during the week --I may attend one or two of those.

Corporate America, End of Week Three

2008-03-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

So far, so good. DH and are are enjoying a certain measure of relief at my having a regular paycheck again, especially one in which I net about $50 a week more than what my gross pay was at Former Church ... although I am working more hours to produce it. But the hours I am working are less stressful --and frankly, what I am doing is, for some strange reason that I have yet to totally fathom, oddly energizing to me. OTOH, maybe that's the coming Spring, who knows?

It has been a pleasant change of pace to live in the analytical part of my head, to solve problems having to do more directly with data than with people. It is restful to quite a degree actually. I described this sojourn as a temporary employee, this "ministerial" pause, to a friend on facebook as being a "money-making" sabbatical as opposed to a "study-rest" sabbatical. She understood exactly what I meant, commenting that one way in which activists tend to be different from others is that activists often take sabbaticals from their usual routine to make money and do other forms of necessary self-care.

I notice, looking back at my previous Corporate America post, that I mentioned the issue of coming out as a pastor, and whether I had decided to do that or not. There are several reasons why that is an issue.

Mainly, I don't want "reverent power" to become a difficulty in my work relationships. I don't want people to assume that, because I am a pastor, I'm like the pastors they know now or the pastors they grew up with ... because, in the neck of the woods where I am working, I guarantee you that I don't resemble the usual pastor at all. It is for me similar to what Prince Harry expressed about his military service in Afganistan, and how much he enjoyed --for once in his life-- being like and being treated like everyone else. I don't want people feeling like they have to apologize to me when certain words escape their lips, nor do I want them horrified when those very same words escape mine. I don't want to risk having these people dehumanize/pedestalize me in some of the ways they possibly dehumanize/pedestalize their own pastors --and if you're a clergy person or a lay person in the know reading this, you understand exactly what I am talking about.

Of course, coming out as a pastor for me is inextricably tied into coming out as a lesbian too [which I did with the other temp the other day. No problem.]
The next question after I tell people I'm clergy is always "what denomination?"
"MCC".
"What's that? I've never heard of it."
"It's a Christian denomination founded to enable LGBT people to participate fully in the life of the Church Universal."
"It's a GAY church???" [Eyebrows at this point usually journey to the top of the forehead, rising at the same rate as the tone of voice.]
"No it's a Christian church that ministers primarily to LGBT folks."
"Are you GAY?"
"Yes, but I prefer to refer to myself as lesbian or queer ... or even delightfully bent." [smile]
"But you're a Christian ..."
"Yes."
"How can you be Christian and gay ...?"
And there goes my lunch hour --which is actually only 45 minutes, so we can leave early on Friday. Or my 15 minute break. With lots of unanswered questions for everyone involved. And very often, no opportunity to answer them again.

It is amazing how, when strangers hear those two things about me, that I'm a pastor and a lesbian, they suddenly begin making really weird assumptions about who I am that fall usually very wide from the mark. [Maybe it is some bizarre variation on the "madonna/whore" syndrome? But I digress ...]

Of course --and I do realize this-- because of the locale in which I am working as well as past experiences with other people in other places, I am making some possibly baseless assumptions about who my co-workers are that may also fall very wide from the mark.

However, because my status is unprotected by both the temp agency and the company's employment discrimination policy, I may not be able to AFFORD finding out whether my assumptions about them are baseless or not. DH and I really need this paycheck right now. If someone refuses to work with me because I'm lesbian, I don't really have a legal leg to stand on --and that sucks!

But if someone asks me, yes, I will tell them --because I will not lie. And maybe some assumptions will be disproven. I just hope telling the truth doesn't cost me my job. Like it has for so many others in my community ... especially in this state.

Here We Go Again

2008-02-27T17:44:00.000-08:00

I consider that often the prophetic edges of my ministry are expressed through letters to the editor of our various area newspapers.

For instance, here's a letter in one of my local papers, The Saginaw News, to which I responded:

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginawnews/index.ssf?/base/news-0/1201879245137840.xml&coll=9

Homosexual lobby
Editor, The News:

Had enough of ''homosexual deathstyle?'' Anyone who practices a style of living that eventually will kill them in the short or long run is living a ''deathstyle.'' This includes smokers, drug addicts and alcoholics.

I am an ex-smoker, so I know what I am talking about. I smoked off and on for 25 years and finally went cold turkey a little over a year ago and am now smoke-free.

Compared to homosexuals, smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts don't run around looking for special rights from the government to protect them. Homosexuality is not a human rights issue. It is a choice that people make to be homosexual, just as it was a choice I made to smoke, and a choice people make to drink to excess or abuse drugs.

Alcoholics can get help through ''Alcoholics Anonymous.'' There are numerous drug rehab and smoking cessation medications available. Many medical professionals consider alcoholism and drug addiction a disease. If these two deathstyles are considered a disease, why isn't homosexuality? Why would this deathstyle that caused the most devastating disease, AIDS, this country ever has seen be accepted as commonplace?

Today we have Hollywood glorifying homosexuality. Our schools are accepting homosexuality and teaching it as a viable alternative lifestyle, and now we have politicians proposing a protected status for a lifestyle that is killing people.

The question is, why would anyone support the deathstyle of someone they love? Do you really love them if you do? Should a moral society have to accept this or be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for opposing it? I think not. Don't be taken in by the lies and half truths perpetuated by the homosexual lobby.

Name and location omitted.

Here's my response:

http://www.mlive.com/saginaw/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-0/12028296089000.xml&coll=9

Idea laughable

Editor, The News:

I read the Feb. 1 diatribe against homosexual persons with a mixture of amusement and anger.

Amusement because all of the gay and lesbian folks I know who have lived into their 60s, 70s and 80s -- many of them in long-term monogamous relationships of 20, 30, 40 years standing -- would laugh at his idea that homosexuality is more of a ''deathstyle'' than heterosexuality.
I have never met the writer, but I strongly suspect that my long-term monogamous relationship with my same-sex partner isn't any more a ''deathstyle'' than any relationship he has had or has with a significant other. Risky, unprotected sexual behaviors with multiple, unfamiliar partners or the sharing of needles is dangerous for straight people as well as gay people. I do not engage in those behaviors, and neither do most of the lesbian or gay people I know.

Anger, because the single most significant risk factor that homosexual persons face is the type of bigotry and misinformation that the writer and people who share his views espouse. According to the FBI, of the 653 hate crimes committed in Michigan in 2006, 52 were motivated by the perpetrator's perception of the victim's sexual orientation. (Of course, those are only the ones that were reported.)

Some people believe the lies, myths and stereotypes that misinformed people spread, and then feel justified in attacking those whom they perceive ''fit'' those stereotypes. Others will feel justified lobbying against the civil rights of homosexual persons, denying them employment protections and other rights that most U.S. citizens take for granted. Then, folks like the writer have the audacity to claim that gays and lesbians are seeking special rights.

Thanks for the opportunity to counter lies, myths and stereotypes.

Name and location omitted, although if you're reading this and paid attention to my profile, you know who I am.

Next, here's a counter-letter:

Political correctness?

Editor, The News:

In a Feb. 12 letter a person identifying herself as a clergy person also states she is a lesbian. She accuses some opposing her sexual preference as being liars.

Jesus tells those who judge another's speck when they themselves have a log: ''Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam (log) out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote (speck) out of thy brother's eye,'' Matthew 7:5.

What is the writer, a clergy person, preaching and teaching as being God's word? Evidently she is teaching ''political correctness,'' not God's word.

The Bible is God's infallible word and blueprint on what to teach, to believe and to live by. Jesus often quoted from the Scriptures and declared them to be the infallible word of God.

The lifestyle of homosexuality is condemned throughout Scriptures (Leviticus 18:22-24, 26, 28-29; 20:13,14-16; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Timothy 1:9-10). In listing sinful lifestyles, including homosexuality, the apostle states that such persons ''shall not enter the kingdom of God'' and adds: ''Be not deceived.''

After creating Adam, God created Eve, a woman, for the man. Of such God-ordained unions, the apostle writes: ''Marriage is honorable in (among) all, and the bed undefiled: But whoremongers and adulterers God will judge,'' Hebrews 13:4.

Thus, as taught in Scripture and in churches through the centuries, though some strayed, especially in recent years, all of us who engage in sex outside of the marriage bond and all of us who practice homosexuality need to ponder this: Does the clay, over time, become wiser than its molder and maker?

There's a couple of different tactics I'm considering for my response --when I compose it, I'll conclude it on my blog, but in the meantime, I certainly welcome your thoughts, O dear readers, all four or five of you.

The Page 123 Meme

2008-02-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

Tom in Ontario [whom I remember from the Desperate Preacher's site] over at Tom's Been Thinking tagged me for the following meme:

"I don't know if you're into the ‘meme' thing. I was tagged and sometimes I'm a "follow the rules" kind of guy and number 5 says "Tag five other people" and you're one of the five blogs I read who hasn't already done this meme. So here it is. Do with it what you will."

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five other people.

OK, Tom and others, here we go. From Planets in Transit, Life Cycles For Living by Robert Hand. [How many pastors do you know who are amateur astrologers ...?]

The fifth sentence reads: "Be careful about games in which you and your partner manipulate emotions to gain power over each other." [I know the meme doesn't say to post this sentence, but it doesn't say not to, either ...]

Here's the next three: "Also be careful about feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, which are likely at this time. [Subhead: Moon Sextile Pluto] This transit arouses deep feelings and emotions. You desire experience at a very profound level and do not like superficial encounters."

Now, the difficult part of a meme: whom do I tag?

I figure that, if I tag someone who has already done this, they've done it so long ago that they're reading different books by now, and hence, able to play anew. So I tag ... well, that will have to wait until tomorrow.

P.S. --if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! Comment and let me know if you've played.

Corporate USA

2008-02-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

This past Monday, I began a temp assignment at one of the best known insurance companies here in our region and most especially in the Land of God's Right and Left Hands.

It has been just over 7 years since I last worked at all in Corporate America ... but I guess it is kind of like riding a bicycle. There's always new computer software to learn, always clothing and other guidelines to navigate, a cubie to personalize to some degree or not, jargon/lingo to master.

For me and others like me, there's always the added questions to consider --come out or not? Tell the truth about how I spent my weekend or not, especially as sexual orientation is not one of the protected categories on this companies' diversity/non-discrimination statement [and it would probably be a very cold day in Hell before it was included, unless the state makes it a mandatory thing.]

But this is not a particularly chatty working group, because the work we are doing is so detailed and requires one's full attention, so, thus far, no one has asked and I have not offered much information. But I am prepared to do so when it is appropriate.

A new issue for me is whether or not to come out as a pastor or not ... but I'll write more about that later --my lunch break is almost over, and I need to go call DH, who is really missing not having me work from home.

Friday Five: The Water and The Word

2008-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

Rev H Rod shares this timely Friday Five:

In this Sunday's gospel Nicodemus asks Jesus, "How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?" Poor old Nicodemus! He was so confused about the whole "water and Spirit" business of baptism.
For today's five, tell us about your baptismal experiences.

When and where were you baptized? Do you remember it? Know any interesting tidbits?
1st time as an infant, St. Augustine RC Church, Dallas, Texas
2nd time as a young adult by a UM pastor whom I now wish would have told me that rebaptism was unnecessary and helped me find a way to remember my baptism and confirm my faith instead.

What's the most unexpected thing you've ever witnessed at a baptism?
There was the time in seminary when one of the worship classes arranged for an infant baptism to take place during chapel. Because there was no font, the baptism was to happen in a brand spanking new, bright and shiny metal washtub, set up on a table. Pouring the water in the font was a part of the ritual ... which created a highly suggestive sound that everyone immediately recognized. We laughed ... then several of us made a dash for the restrooms.

Does your congregation have any special traditions surrounding baptisms?
A former congregation in the DFW area of which I was a part always had service at a nearby lake the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. The service always featured at least one baptism by immersion in the lake.

Are you a godparent or baptismal sponsor? Have a story to tell? Neither experience for me.

Do you have a favorite baptismal song or hymn?
"Child of Blessing, Child of Promise" sung to Stuttgart

BONUS: I practiced for my first infant baptism with my roommate's Shitzu, reasoning that she [the dog, not the roommate] was dressed in white, about the right weight, squirmed a lot and was kind of difficult to hold on to, just like a baby in a satiny baptismal gown. That was before I practiced with the infant himself.

Tag! I'm it!

2008-02-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

Heidi over at sh-OUT tagged me for a meme!

Thanks Heidi! Like you, this is the first time I have been tagged.

The rules for the meme are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. [check]

2. Post the rules on your blog. [check]

3. Share six non important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

I hate writing with dull pencils
I collect small pieces of paper with notes on them ... but may never refer to them again
I don't mind TV commercials but hate radio commercials [NPR rocks]
I am obsessive compulsive about reading road signs
I often forget to trim my toenails --which is why I will be buying DH some new sox today.

4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

I tag Rainbow Pastor,
Deb,
Ladyburg,
RevHrod,
Quaker Pastor, and
Processing Counselor.

5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Creating Change Did, Part 2

2008-02-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned that I had been a part of the Host Committee for Creating Change since May 2007? I was one of the co-chairs of the Spiritual Needs Subcommittee.

I have met many wonderful people and have made some new friends down state.

Our duties were to make sure there was a Tranquility Room, a kind of spiritual drop in refreshment and meditation center, to make sure there was a Friday evening Shabbat service, to execute a Naming ceremony of our dear departed as a part of the opening plenary and to create an interfaith service.

Interfaith services can be really odd things. Sometimes, one gets a sense that the people who design them are just filling a certain number of slots to make sure everyone is represented. They can be something like a talent show, so to speak, or a variety show. It's the difference between a collection of pearls and a string of pearls.

We as a committee didn't want to do that. We wanted a service that had some movement to it, that appealed to certain common human needs for nurture, that would take people to a different place and accomplish some transformation. We wanted there to be revelation and beauty, encouragement for those journeying along the activist path.

We almost accomplished it.

Here are some things I have learned along the way.

1. Not everyone knows what an interfaith service is. Not everyone understands the difference between interfaith and interdenominational. Some people at an interfaith service, if given opportunity, will still insist that their particular spiritual/religious expression of faith is the only salvific way, or will use language that implies that, and not realize how hurtful that is.

2. No matter how carefully one plans and prepares, there will be surprise obstacles to negotiate, some as "big" as a missing grand piano, some as "little" as a missing jump drive.

3. How we say things is ever bit as important as what we say. How we do things is ever bit as important as what we do. If the process says something different from the content, people will remember the process more than the content.

There's so much that I have learned being a part of the Creating Change Hosting process.

These are some of the ideas that, thanks to Creating Change, I must spend some time exploring:

Access/Privilege. I participated in an exercise as a part of creating change where I experienced being denied access --to renting an apartment, getting a job, applying for a loan-- because of my gender presentation and also because of a language barrier. I was one of the lucky ones --I didn't start off in jail, which was also a possibility in the exercise. I wasn't as fortunate as some who were ushered to a "head table" laden with food and non-alcoholic wine. I was glad I had at least two privilege cards to pull --my education and my varied job experience. Did I pull them? You betcha.

How ableism, racism, sexism and heterosexism, gender rigidity, sexual rigidity is tied-in with patriarchy and privilege. Bp. Gene Robinson said [I think] that we are about the business of undoing years and years and years of misogyny and patriarchy in order to see justice done. Matt Foreman chided gay men who have nothing positive to say about women and do not allow women --and trans people-- at place at the power tables which exist in our community.

Unfortunately, I think because of the non-inclusive ENDA and for some other reasons as well, the Bi/Pansexual community got left out in many of the speeches I heard. My Bi/Pan friends continue to struggle with a certain lack of acceptance in the LGT community as well as the straight community.

Creating Change Did, Part 1

2008-02-13T07:46:00.000-08:00

Create change, that is.

It has taken about 3 days for my head to stop exploding with the ideas and concepts to which I was exposed.

There for awhile I thought I would never make it there. DH's estranged father passed away the week before last, and, although she felt uncomfortable about going, we did indeed attend the funeral last Tuesday. [The ELCA pastor did a very nice job with that, by the way.] That put me behind in my preparations.

Then, a 13 inch snowfall created almost blizzard-like conditions so that I was unable to drive down Wednesday. I was really bummed out about that because I did so want to attend the all-day institute on faith-based organizing that took place the following Thursday. Fortunately, I know someone who was present for that event, so I'm hoping I can have a conversation with her about what she learned.

By the way, a huge shout-out to Rainbow Pastor, who let me crash at her place throughout this event, which was part of the fun. She provided me a bed and I provided her with transportation, since her car was having issues. I met some of her friends too --that was cool. They are awesome people.

I was part of a presentation team Friday morning, then filled in at the last minute as one of the presenters for the workshop I wanted to attend, on the non-violent method of communication called LARA --Listen, Affirm, Respond, Add On-- developed by Bonnie Tinker [the Executive Director of Loves Makes A Family] and others. I had had some training in the method, but wanted more ... well, I certainly got it! Some good ole' OJT.

Friday evening, I worshipped at a Shabbat led by members of one of Detroit's local reconstructionist temples --that was also an awesome experience.

Friday 5

2008-02-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

Sally, one of the RevGalBlogPals from across the pond shares this:

There is so much going on this weekend that I thought I'd provide an options Friday 5!!!!

First: Superbowl ( someone explain to this Brit the significance)- love it or hate it?
5 reasons please!!!!!

What's fun about the superbowl: the commercials [usually], the parties, often the halftime show, watching people watching the game, wardrobe malfunctions and other unexpected events

What's not fun about the superbowl: the hype, that usually the game itself is a disappointment

Second: Candlemas/ Imbloc/ Groundhog day/ St Brigid's day- all of these fall on either the 1st or 2nd February.

1. Do you celebrate one or more of these?
2. How?
3. Is this a bit of fun or deeply significant?
4. Are festivals/ Saints days important to you?
5.Name your favourite Saints day/ celebration.

I'm thinking I would like to cultivate the practice of celebrating Saints days as a means of enriching my faith. I could care less about Groundhog Day.

I'm looking forward to reading everyone's posts on these questions.

Bonus- 2nd Feburary is also my Birthday- I will donate £1.00 for every comment on my Friday Five Post to the Methodist Relief and Development Fund.

Catching Up

2008-01-30T10:45:00.000-08:00

Not sure if the incidents are related or not, but last Monday, when returning from the MLK Day speaking engagement, a mere 4 days after my 5 Seconds of Sheer Terror experience, the engine on my vehicle lost oil and locked up.

I have been without my own vehicle for over a week now. Occasionally I have driven DH's little Hyundai or big F-150.

However, the engine is being replaced even as we speak --I should have it back tomorrow or Friday, about $2,500 later. [Thank you, DH, for your generosity.]

I also found out this morning that I have a secular full-time job lined up, at which I start Monday 18 February.

In the meantime, I have been very busy with the final details for Creating Change which begins next week.

I will begin blogging regularly again soon, I promise.

Wintry Friday Five

2008-01-25T18:01:00.000-08:00

The lovely Singing Owl brings us this seasonal Friday Five:

"Brrrr! Baby, it’s COLD outside! At least that is the case where I am this morning. We are in a January deep freeze. Have a cup of hot tea and tackle five easy seasonal questions."

1. What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning? It was 7 degrees F, windchill of -2.

2. Snow—love it or hate it? Indifferent to it right now.

3. What is winter like where you are? At this place, at this time, winter is brilliant! We've had a string of extremely cold, but extremely bright sunshiny days, something my spirit desperately needed. But I think we're getting more snow. Oh. Joy. Big whoop.

4. Do you like winter sports? Any good stories? Is sledding a winter sport? I like to do that, although I don't know how to steer very well, and tend to hit things --small trees, other sledders, deep snow banks, cactus ... [Nooo, not really. Just threw "cactus" in to see if you were paying attention ....]

5. What is your favorite season, and why? Spring, because my spirit emerges out of hibernation.

Bonus: Share a favorite winter pick-me-up. A recipe, an activity, or whatever. In Winter, I become a light junkie ...

A Bookish Friday Five

2008-01-18T12:58:00.000-08:00

RevHRod over at you don't have to listen. I just like to talk. posts this Friday Five about books:

1. What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why?
Lately, when I have wanted to read a book, I've read murder fiction, and strictly for fun. Nothing has really stayed with me --I think because I've got so much heavy stuff going on, I don't WANT what I read to stay with me.

2. What is one of your favorite childhood books?
I loved Jean George's My Side of the Mountain. And my love for A Wrinkle In Time has followed me well into adulthood ...

3. Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell! Luke is my favorite Gospel, James my favorite Epistle, Second Isaiah my favorite prophet, and Revelation my favorite "weird" book.

4. What is one book you could read again and again?

Just one? Surely you jest. I have read almost every book I own more than once.

5. Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why?

A Tree Full of Angels: Seeing The Holy In The Ordinary, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr OSB [did I spell that correctly?] Two of the themes of her book that stand out for me are: "Dust, remember that thou art splendour." [Think about that when you are about to impose ashes on someone's forehead --or someone is about to do that to you.] She also takes the story of the syro-phoenician woman, the one who says to Jesus, "Yes, Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs from under the Master's table," and relates it to what we might choose to do with the "crumbs" of our existence.

And because we all love bonus questions, if you were going to publish a book what would it be? Who would you want to write the jacket cover blurb expounding on your talent?

I'm passing on the bonus question this time around.

5 Seconds of Sheer Terror

2008-01-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

Most folks who drive in the Land of God's Left and Right Hands can count on a very high probability of having two special Michigan driving experiences, hitting a deer or sliding off the road in icy weather.

Let me just say that no animals were harmed in last night's special Michigan driving experience, although a couple of small evergreens will never be the same again.

Late last night, I was driving back home to Saginaw from a meeting in Detroit. As I drove further north on I-75, first it rained, then it sleeted, then it snowed, then it rained some more --many of you know the routine-- and I adjusted my speed accordingly.

The salt trucks had just started their rounds.

I have driven many times in far worse weather/road conditions than what we had last night, successfully arriving home.

But last night, rolling into the gentle curve of the highway ramp
I slid into a skid that I could not steer out of
went into a 360
plunged sideways off the highway ramp onto a snowy, grassy hillside,
wiping out a highway reflector,
narrowly missing the rather substantial guard rail,
bent over a tiny evergreen tree, uprooted another tiny evergreen tree
careened into the shallow ditch, careened out of the shallow ditch
slid along a fence line
finally came to rest amidst the cattails of the shallow ditch
my suv perpendicular to and firmly planted in
at the foot of a somewhat steep embankment
about 250 feet from the beginning spot
of last night's very special Michigan driving adventure.

I honest to God cannot remember at what point in this hair-raising process I removed my foot from the accelerator. I don't remember braking. I don't remember steering.

I just remember things shooting past the windows out of the dark

I know I didn't scream, because I am not a verbal processor.

[Once, when I was water sking, I fell forward ... the boat pulling me along, water being forced into my nasal passages and lungs ... and I finally heard them yelling, "Let go of the rope!"

Oh. Of Course. ... something about this experience reminds me of that experience.]

Several miracles involved here:

One: my suv didn't roll over. And over. And over. Because, if you could see the terrain where I went off the road, you'd wonder how that didn't happen either.

Two: Although it is covered in a thick layer of gray mud, cattail debris, grass and straw, and one tiny little tree limb attached to the running boards, there's no body damage --quite possibly no scratches too. I'm off to the car wash after I get this out of my system.

Three: Once the kind wrecker people got it out of the ditch [this morning, not last night] with the 200+ feet of wench, I drove it home.

Four: I am injury-free, living to laugh about this.

Did I mention this suv is NOT 4 wheel drive? DH, who last night was less than impressed with my survival, not having seen the scene, was really impressed this morning when she saw the tracks, noting that me and my vehicle traversed the very steep embankment without flipping. Only then did DH understand just exactly how harrowing an experience I had had. DH takes the plastic-spring loaded Jesus on my dashboard much more seriously now.

The other thing: I came home in a police cruiser last night. Do you know that, once they invite you into the back seat, you can't get out again until the kind officer lets you out? That was a bit unnerving, especially when the officer and tow truck driver were inspecting the vehicle. Butch thing that I am, I wanted to go down there with them. I tried the door handle --it didn't work. DUH. No window roller-downer either.

One other unnerving thing --police officers punch keys on their dashboard computers while driving.

I expressed my appreciation to the officer for taking me home so far away from his usual beat, and he said, "Oh, it's OK, I can go by Tim Horton's on my way back."

I said, "I thought that was a stereotype." We laughed.

OK. I am going to go wash my car now while the sun is shining.

MLK Day and other thoughts

2008-01-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

I am spending a good portion of my day today thinking about two events: worship this Sunday and a panel discussion in which I am participating as a part of a MLK Day celebration in an upscale, heavily conservative, mostly republican suburb of Detroit.

I'm not too sure yet how much those two events will be resonating with one another.

The panel discussion is a part of this workshop, entitled: Inclusive Justice: LGBTQ People in Faith Communities, Schools & History.

"If you identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or as a Straight Ally and want to learn about supportive faith communities, school groups or organizations, or if you are a Parent looking for resources to support your child or simply interested in learning about the amazing contributions of LGBTQ people throughout history come to this safe space. This session is limited to 20 participants so pre-registration is required and kept confidential. Questioning and Straight Allies welcome. Facilitated by staff, volunteers and clergy of the American Friends Service Committee's Inclusive Justice and Faith Action Network Program."

It's the first time that anything quite like this has been offered in this particular community. So I get to talk about supportive faith communities, and an alternate Christian prospective on homosexuality that differs from the witness offered by some Christian conservatives, especially the ones in this particular locale, who actively work to silence voices different from their own.

I'm sort of a lesbian Christian clergy poster child, a role I actually relish, most of the time. It is very much in keeping with one of the themes of the gospel reading for this week's lectionary --"come and see."

Friday Five: Birthdays

2008-01-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

Mother Laura offers this birthday-inspired Friday Five.

1. When is your birthday? Does anyone else (famous and/or in your own life) share it?
March 25. Wikipedia tells me lots of folks share my birthday. Some of my favs: Flannery O'Connor, Elton John, Aretha Franklin and Gloria Steinem. Knowing that I also share a birthday with Howard Cosell and Anita Bryant helps me keep in touch with my shadow-side.

2. Do you prefer a big party or an intimate celebration for the chosen few?
Intimate celebration for the chosen few, most definitely.

3. Describe your most memorable birthday(s)--good, bad, or both.
Hmm. I can't remember any one in particular ... even one that ends in a zero ...

4. What is your favorite cake and ice cream? (Bonus points if you share the cake recipe). Or would you rather have a different treat altogether? Chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream. But my favorite B-day cakes are the ones I have "made special" for others on certain occasions. These are usually made of foam from old seat-cushions or a slab of styrofoam, which, when iced and decorated, look exactly like a real cake. Watching 40 year olds trying to cut and serve one is hilarious, truly worthy of Candid Camera or Punk'd. I always make a real cake too, BTW.

5. Surprise parties: love 'em or hate 'em?
Love participating in them. Would prefer not to have one planned for me. Too many people have too much to reciprocate --see #4. Nuff said.

Bonus: Describe your ideal birthday--the sky's the limit. A good restaurant meal with friends and family, so no one has to cook, and we can use the time instead to socialize.

Pig Paths, Part 1: Baptism, Metanoia, Privilege and Revolution

2008-01-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

Pig paths are the paths we take away from what is planned, particularly as a part of a presentation, bible study ... whatever. They are similar in shape and form to rabbit trails.

Revelation often assumes the form of a pig path in my life.

It's not uncommon for my day to be filled with pig paths and rabbit trails, since my work seldom goes as I have planned.

For instance, I am working today on worship for Baptism of the Lord Sunday and waiting on a phone call about Creating Change ... but, because it is Friday, and I have been frightfully out of touch with my blogging buds at RevGalBlogPals, I thought I would read through some blogs.

I read an entry on Mother Laura's blog, which led me to another blog, which led me to yet another blog [pig path!] ... which confronted me once again with my privileged status as a white, highly-educated, literate person. That I am female and queer offsets my privilege to some degree, but not a whole lot, to be perfectly honest.

I have struggling with this whole privilege thing since I went to the Together In Faith conference back in October. I also have been struggling with the concept of sustainability and the idea that, personally speaking, I have been living an economically unsustainable lifestyle that has been too dependent on credit card use [at least, for emergencies. I am not a big spender type of gal usually.] Over the past seven years I have, for what I thought were good reasons, made some sacrifices and basically have been underemployed [22-30 hours a week] and somewhat undercompensated. I think I can make some better choices around these issues -- especially as I consider my partner's needs as well as my own.

In the meantime, during those seven years, I have gotten in touch with my inner activist, and the necessity of justice-making to living out faithfully my vocation as a Christian.

Particularly in the past 6 months, I have found myself led into a kind of wilderness place of conversion, of seeing sin in myself I hadn't even thought of before, of seeing sin in the world in a different sort of way, those powers and principalities of which the Apostle Paul speaks, systemic sin ... and how unwittingly I have participated in that. And not knowing exactly how to get off the merry-go-round of systemic evil.

And this last leg of my faith journey puts me squarely in the midst of a profound personal dilemma.

I can choose to make more money, to be more financially secure, to take an average 8 to 5 type job, whittle down my debt and prepare myself financially to return to graduate school in my mid to late 40's. The cost of that choice is that it would severely limit my ability to participate in all kinds of justice-making events and efforts.

Or I can choose to make less money [although still more money than I have been] and continue to be as active as I am now.

One bit of cloudy stuff smeared on the lens with which I view these things is that, spiritually speaking, I am a mess right now. I find myself wondering if the church as institution can ever live up to the fullness of its calling and vocation as the Body of Christ. I find myself wondering if I personally can live up to my own calling and vocation as a disciple of Christ.

I have the sense that I am being baptized into something --but what is it exactly that I am being baptized into?

It's like the Spirit is driving me into a wilderness I didn't necessarily choose, to teach me something about myself I really don't want to learn, to follow a Jesus who is crazier and more radical than even I thought, whose calling to follow him will put me into a place of certain intense discomfort and quite possibly death. I am not feeling like losing my life right now --I really just want to crawl into a nice secure cave of 8 to 5 routine as a receptionist or something, or else just remain in my lovely ivory tower of privilege and think about things, without ever actually having to do anything about them.

In one of those blogs I visited on my pig path away from Mother Laura's blog, there was much discussion about the meaning of a quote from Audre Lorde, "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Lorde is using the metaphor of slave and master, and particularly the idea that most folks find themselves outside of the house, which represents a place of comfort, privilege and power built upon the exploitation of masses of people.

Another way of describing my dilemma is that I'm not sure whether or not I want to leave the master's house, or take the risks of casting my lot with those who find themselves outside of it, even though I know in my hearts of hearts it is what Jesus did and would do.

And yes, I can rely upon grace to be sufficient in my weakness --but isn't that kind of grace perhaps a little too cheap?

New Years Resolutions Friday Five

2008-01-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

Sally, one of our RevGalBlogPals from across the water writes:

Well it had to be didn't it: love them or hate them, I bet you've been asked about New Year resolutions. So with no more fuss here is this weeks Friday Five:

1. Do you make New Year resolutions?
No. One year I made a resolution never to make resolutions and I have kept that resolution ever since! Bet I am not the only one [smile].

2. Is this something you take seriously, or is it a bit of fun?
Sheer comedic relief --although I don't laugh at folks who do take the making of resolutions seriously. And I did indeed eat my black-eyed peas on New Year's for good luck --did you?

3. Share one goal for 2008.
To be working and living in a way that is more financially sustainable for me. [That means steadily whittling down my debt and being more gainfully employed. It's a long story --maybe I will write about that sometime.]

4. Money is no barrier, share one wild/ impossible dream for 2008
I'd settle for starting school much earlier than I am anticipating. But if I want to get really wild, I'd like to travel with Anthony Bourdain as his sidekick for a year ... No Reservations, indeed! DH likes him and his show also. D'you think it would count as a sabbatical?

5. Someone wants to publish a story of your year in 2008, what will the title of that book be?
Oh my. {That's NOT the title} What a fun and creative question. How about:

Eucatastrophe: The Joy of Midlife Crisis. Subtitled: Coping With Change With Grace, Humor and Joie De Vivre.

Where have I been?

2008-01-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

Well, like many of you, I have been doing holiday related things.

Additionally, the work for Creating Change 2008 is really picking up now that there's only 30 days until launch.

Next week I start job hunting in earnest.

I still have my end of year/beginning of the year church responsibilities. And Wednesday I purchased a new PC for my church, that brings us from the previous millenium [Windows 98 world] into the new millenium [Windows Vista world.] So I have been getting that set up.

In the meantime, my sinuses are agonizing and my SAD has really got me down.

I realized during a wakeful moment last night that there are legs on the travel through the journey of life where and when there's just no easy way to get through "it," whatever "it" is.

Sometimes, one has to walk through the mud --the kind of mud I grew up with in and around the DFW area on the Blackland Prairie. My daddy used to call it "black gumbo" because it had the consistency of a thick dark sticky roux and one of the things that grew best in it was okra. When you walked through it, it would stick to your shoes and your feet would get heavier and heavier and your steps slower and more labored.

Sometimes, one has to fly through LaGuardia, Logan, LAX, Atlanta --those airports famous for delays. Sometimes, no one's flying at all, if the coniditions are "wrong."

Sometimes, all one can do is just wait for things to dry up, or melt, or become clear, and just keep doing the best one can.

"Auld Lang Syne" Friday Five

2007-12-28T15:21:00.000-08:00

Singing Owl in the RGBP F5 this week invites us to revisit 2007:

"It is hard to believe, but 2007 is about to be history, and this is our last Friday Five of the year. With that in mind, share five memorable moments of 2007. These can be happy or sad, profound or silly, good or bad but things that you will remember. Bonus points for telling us of a "God sighting"-- a moment when the light came through the darkness, a word was spoken, a song sung, laughter rang out, a sermon spoke to you in a new way--whatever you choose, but a moment in 2007 when you sensed Emmanuel, God with us. Or more particularly, you."

Hmmm. Lemmesee ... in no particular order:

1. The April Washington DC trip to lobby US Congress about hate crimes and job protections for LGBT people was memorable because I learned some things about myself and because I thoroughly enjoyed the people I travelled with.

2. Leaving one of my two churches and the entire process that led up to making the decision.

3. I have met a lot of people and made some new friends --more so than usual-- in the year 2007. I have become closer to some folks I already knew.

4. Entertaining my brother and SIL this summer, the first of my family to come from Texas to visit me up here in the Land of God's Left and Right Hands.

5. Realizing that I really do want to go back to school and figuring out which degree I want to pursue

These are quite lame, I think, but 2007 hasn't been exactly a great year for me.

Here's to a better 2008 ...!

Christmas Eve Meditation on Luke 2:1-7

2007-12-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

There was no room. Absolutely none anywhere to be found. Not at the inn, not at any inn, no place where a weary traveler would normally go, because Bethlehem was filled to bursting with weary travellers.

There was a census, you see, a counting of persons like a counting of cattle, a crowding of nameless people brought together by the need of a foreign, oppressive government to know whom all it may tax, whom all it could press into military service, whom all could serve the needs of an Empire.

The Empire did not care for their needs as much as it cared for its own. No matter the human needs of individuals --the almighty dollar held sway then just as it often does now. So gathered together in that tiny little town were old and young, ailing and healthy, poor, rich, Jew, Gentile. Big families, little families ...

And one tiny family in particular, a couple who had chosen to make room for a most inconvenient child of mysterious origins. Mary said, "Yes --let it be done to me according to your will." Joseph didn't say much at all, but his actions spoke louder than words as he refused to divorce or shame Mary for her suspicious pregnancy, all for the sake of a dream, despite everything his society, his culture, his religion demanded of him.

Despite all of these obstacles, God Godself made room for the inconvenient child Jesus. In a manger, a feed troth filled with hay for the animals of all the weary travellers gathered in tiny little Bethlehem. It was in a barn: it looked like a barn, it smelled like a barn … and it was not the typical place in which a child would be born, but God made room there anyhow, in a place where usually only the poorest of the poor and the most unwanted of the unwanted would sleep.

But because God made room, and Mary and Joseph made room, it was the best of all possible rooms, made warm with the love of mother and father for child, with the Love of the One who is Heavenly Father and Mother of all of God's children on earth. It was a room filled with the light of people who believed in ancient promises made to them and were willing to make journeys based on that faith and hope. It was a room filled with the peace that comes at the end of a long struggle. It was a room filled with the joy to be found in new life.

For what have we made room this Christmas? And what kind of room are we making? Do we find ourselves like so many nameless cattle being counted by the store owners at the mall, seeking the very best Christmas ever in our search for the perfect gifts, the perfect meal, the perfect decorations, the best and brightest display of lights in the entire neighborhood? Do we work harder to have more to spend to make a bigger, better and brighter Christmas? Rooms filled with things, things and more things, because so much of the value we place upon ourselves and other people has to do with our ability to acquire things and to display them to others?

The story of Jesus’ birth tells us this, if it tells us nothing else: the best of all possible rooms, in this crazy season when people tend to gather together like cattle in malls and airports and can’t seem to find enough room or the right kind of room for themselves, is the room we make for love, a room decorated with light, faith, hope, peace and joy.

There is no better decoration to be found, and no better gift to be given. Amen.

Some of our Pets

2007-12-16T15:24:00.000-08:00

This is my cat Pooter.

We call this position "doin' the whale" as in, "Pooter looks like a beached whale."

His belly is as soft and warm as it looks.

Yes, Pooter is a Fat Cat. He has quite the personality. He Thinks More Highly Of Himself Than He Ought.

For that reason, I am really hesitant to get him started blogging. He is really vocal enough already.

This is Angel the Aussie, as in Australian Shepherd. She also is very vocal, but at least she is far more humble than Pooter [although that is not saying much.] Her eyes are really a very lovely golden tawny color instead of the nasty red we see in this photo.

Angel is a killer of rabbits and chaser of squirrels.

Notice how possessive she is of the rawhide bone under her paw.

Friday Five: Rejoice!

2007-12-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

Mother Laura, of Junia's Daughter fame, offers us an opportunity to consider Joy or Gaudete Sunday for this week's Friday Five.

"Can you believe that in two days we'll be halfway through Advent? Gaudete Sunday: pink candle on the advent wreath, rose vestments for those who have them, concerts and pageants in many congregations. Time to rejoice!
"Rejoice in the nearness of Christ's coming, yes, but also in the many gifts of the pregnant waiting time when the world (in the northern hemisphere, at least) spins ever deeper into sweet, fertile darkness."
What makes you rejoice about:
1. Waiting?
The opportunity to do other things while waiting that I might not normally do otherwise --like read murder mysteries during the "hurry up and wait" of airline travel.
2. Darkness?
The opportunity to slow down and rest more, although I do struggle with SAD this time of year. I sleep longer generally.
3. Winter?
Seeing my silly dog do the "happy dog back scratch dance" in the snow and ice like she did this morning ...
Evergreens lightly frosted with a dusting of snow ...
Real snow days, the kind where almost everyone stays home and feels justified in doing so.
The brilliance of sunlight reflected off the pure white of freshly fallen snow.
4. Advent?
At least as far as the ecclesiastical calendar is concerned --Happy New Year! We're finally out of cycle X [of which I had grown tired] and we're in cycle Y. We're finally out of ordinary time --the season that never ends-- and into the juicy stuff of Advent-Christmas-Epiphany. Church geeks, unite!!!!
5. Jesus' coming?
Mystery: the totality of divinity merges into the totality of humanity and the renewal of all creation begins. Incarnation, theologically speaking, is far more of a big deal for me than crucifixion and resurrection ...

RevGalBlogPals Friday 5: Don't Call It A Comeback Edition

2007-11-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

Will Smama, dropping by for a brief return stint as contributer, invites us to explore the shadow side of this holiday season:

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?
Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?
Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)
Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....
1) dessert/cookie/family food
Potato salad. I realize I am very much in the minority on this, but I got hoping-to-die-sick from eating the stuff once and I can't even think about consuming it. In fact, it's difficult to be in the same house while it is being prepared.
2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...) Once upon a time, my beloved Dad brought home some Cold Duck to toast in the Christmas holiday. I remember it tasted very nasty. The next year, he brought home Manischevitz. Oy vey!
3) tradition (church, family, other) Drinking weird stuff on Christmas. Christmas shopping at the mall. Any mall.
4) decoration. Icicles. The thin, narrow aluminum foil kind that my sister would insist had to be carefully placed one at a time on each tree limb. [My brothers and I liked to throw them at the tree a la Jackson Pollack.] The kind that you can't vacuum off the carpet.
5) gift (received or given) I can't be grumpy about this, because I can't think of a single inappropriate gift that I have ever received ... although there was the Christmas that someone gave me influenza. I was a very, very sick puppy for nearly two weeks!
BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. Almost anything played on a non-NPR local radio station this time of year.

It's Advent In More Ways Than One

2007-11-29T11:45:00.000-08:00

This year, the season of Advent resonates more with my personal experience than it usually does. My life and the church calendar are travelling a parallel path more closely than usual for me this December.

With the conclusion of Lectionary Year C 2006-2007 last Sunday, I also concluded ministry at one of the two churches I have served as Pastor for nearly seven years. I have no real clue as to what is actually coming next. I am watching and waiting and discerning to see what God has in store for me next. [Watching, waiting, discerning --Advent themes abounding here in the life of Rev. Dona Quixote.]

I am hoping [Hope -- Look! another Advent word!] to find part-time secular employment that will allow me to continue my ministry with my remaining church. I am preparing [Prepare --isn't that another Advent-y sort of word?] financially to go back to school in about 2-3 years and pick up a second masters degree, an MSW ... so I can become an LCSW ... a pastoral counselor with an LCSW. I'm thinking a second concentration in community organizing so as a pastor I can help a congregation "live the way we pray" [from the Brian Wren hymn text, "I come with joy a child of God"] and engage in peace and justice-making. [A flurry of Advent words there, yes? Just like the flying snow framed in the window of my office upstairs.]

But who knows what God may be up to ... and the revelation of God's purpose for me may come suddenly, without warning, like a thief in the night. All I can do is be ready. For anything. Awake. Aware.

Advent --it is Advent, the Spirit whispers in my heart of hearts.
Advent --it is Advent. Watch, wait, look, listen --behold!
A new thing, a new thing will I do.
Soon what is dark will be light,
What is clouded will be clear,
What is empty, filled.
Wombs and tombs will bring forth surprises
For those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
Advent --it is Advent.
Breathe.

What Classic Movie Am I?

2007-11-28T15:43:00.000-08:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

O dear. It is one of my favorites.

Success!

2007-11-28T10:26:00.000-08:00

There's my smiling face! Yippee!

Except I Can't Seem To Add A Photo

2007-11-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

to my profile. Hmmm

I've Just Come Out Of The Blog Closet

2007-11-28T09:32:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about including my real name and a photo on my blog profile now for a couple of weeks.

Why? Well, since MCC congregations are relatively few in number, and since my church is one of the links on my template, I've never really been anonymous anyhow. Anyone could find out who Rev. Dona Quixote is with just a few clicks of the mouse or by googling "MCC" and "Michigan." [I think some of you actually have.] Because of that, I have always weighed very carefully what I have written in my blog anyhow, since I have never really been that anonymous in the first place.

So I thought I would just save folks the effort.

I am also about to construct a page for my congregation on both myspace and facebook, so my congregation's online presence --and my online presence also-- is about to grow.

This is, of course, risky for me since I am about to undertake a search for part-time employment here in Mid-Michigan and there are some employers who would be reluctant to hire an out lesbian. There are no employment discrimination protections for gays and lesbians on the state level, unfortunately. Fortunately, many private employers DO offer those protections.

My dear RevGalBlogPals and others, I solicit your prayers during this transition time.

Friday 5: "Whatever Is ..."

2007-11-16T08:28:00.000-08:00

Songbird, for this week's Friday Five from the revgalblogpals, offers us "a twist on the usual lists" and invites us to "use Paul's letter to the church at Philippi as a model. Name five things that are true, honorable, just, pure, pleasing, commendable, excellent or worthy of praise. These could be people, organizations, acts, ideas, works of art, pieces of music--whatever comes to mind for you."

1. "For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild,

God of all to you we raise, this our hymn of grateful praise."

For the beauty of the earth

2. a simple meal, prepared well with high quality and healthy ingredients, shared with friends and family

3. a peaceful night's sleep with sweetest of dreams in a warm bed with freshly laundered sheets

4. chocolate [if it is not a sacrament, it likely should be]

5. this painting, Ascension No. 3, David Brown Milne, 1943. Panoramas: The North American Landscape in Art.

A Story From Last Night

2007-11-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I was a participant on a panel for a discussion on "Gay Rights --Why?" held at one of our local community colleges.

One thing that usually happens did last night as well. I show up in a clerical collar carrying a bible and people from the community who may not know me assume that I am automatically against LGBT rights.

That's really an unfair assumption for many reasons, because even many Christians who believe the practice of homosexuality is sinful can reasonably support that LGBT people who believe differently are deserving of civil rights.

When I speak and tell the story of MCC and its 39 year tradition of affirming LGBT people as part of God's intention for creation, I can see the surprise on many faces as well as relief on some and displeasure on others.

The panel went as it usually does, quite routine.

What is always most interesting is what happens after.

A young man came up to speak to me, a little teary eyed, sharing about how his faith in Jesus was being renewed and how pleased he was that there were open and affirming churches in the community. He mentioned he came from a certain Christian background and that he had recently come out to his parents, with whom, as a college student he is still living. We chatted about various things ... but this was the thing that blew my mind.

When he said to his parents, I'd like to buy you each a T-shirt that says "I heart my Gay Son" they told him "don't bother. We won't wear it." Well, I'm not happy about that, but I explain to him that his parents have their own "coming out" to contend with.

But that's not the part of this episode that was most hurtful for him.

The part that was hurtful was that one of his parents went on to say, "Tell you what. You buy us that T-shirt, we'll put it on the dog."

I am very tired of having to pick up the pieces when well-meaning parents sacrifice their children on altars the parents perceive are holy.

Flirting With Gender-Bending

2007-11-14T21:31:00.000-08:00

So, in honor of the soon to arrive Transgender Day of Remembrance, one of my alter egos [altar egos?] is coming out of the closet on my blog today.

We had a drag show at church last year as a fundraiser [one can do this in MCC] and one of our big secrets was that the pastor would be performing. As a Drag King. One can do this in MCC.

This is Harley Hogg, an expression of my masculinity and my "Born to be Wild" side. He very closely resembles one of my brothers. I am very proud of him.

You can't see it in this particular photo, but Harley sports a flat chest, at the cost of some of his ability to breathe. It takes some doing to convert the chest of a woman whose bra size is normally a 42D into a "manly" chest, but it can be done, utilizing a sports bra that is at least 3 sizes too small, a wide ace bandage and lots and lots of duck tape.

Harley's biggest problem with being a Drag King is that he forgets to lip-synch and sings instead. People are surprised that Harley's a mezzo-soprano.

Thinking About The T in LGBT

2007-11-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, November 20th, is the Transgender Day of Remembrance --which means that this Sunday, November 18th, at the one church at which it is possible, we'll be remembering our transgendered friends who have died from transphobia as well as those who continue to struggle against it. [Shout out to Rainbow Pastor, who reminded me our denomination has worship resources available for this.]

There are also several vigils scheduled in various places throughout the state on the actual day itself.

Throughout the nation, this year's remembrance is particularly poignant since ENDA, the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act, most recently passed the House without including protection for "gender identity", i.e. protection for those whose gender presentation is different from that of others.

This year's remembrance in the state of God's Left and Right Hands is particularly poignant because a transgendered youth from the state's western side, Ian Guarr, committed suicide last month. Ian, unlike most transgendered youth, had a very supportive family and a network of supportive friends --yet the difficulty of navigating through life as a transgendered person in a world that assumes that gender is always either entirely male or female and strictly based on genitalia still proved to be too much for Ian.

That last sentence might cause a certain amount of discomfort for my readers, all four or five of you. Gender isn't either male or female, with nothing in between? There's more to gender than genitalia?

Did you know that, in human beings, there are many different markers of gender? The most obvious marker is genitalia, but even that marker is not as definitive as we might believe, given that some children are born intersexed, with ambiguous genitalia. But there's more markers beyond that. Chromosomal, XX and XY ... but also XYY, XXY. There's internal reproductive structures, which don't necessarily match in a typical manner with external reproductive structures, so there are girls who have vaginas and undescended testicles. There's hormonal levels. There's brain chemistry ... and beyond all of that, there is that profound sense of one's own gender identification which is difficult to measure.

Gender is not like a on-off switch. Gender is much more like a rheostat or the slider type of control you might find on the equalizer on your sound equipment. The idea that a person's gender must always be either entirely male or entirely female is a social construct that frankly distorts the totality of human experience.

If you are interested in exploring the subject of gender, visit the Center for Gender Sanity website, especially the diagram of sex and gender.

Another outstanding resource for those interested in exploring the idea of gender as a social construct is the book Omnigender, A Trans-religious Approach, by Dr. Virginia Ramey Mollencott.

I'll be writing more about this as the week progresses. I certainly welcome the thoughts and comments of my readers ... all four or five of you.

Friday 5: Extravagant Unbusyness

2007-11-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

Sally from across the pond writes:

I am writing in my official capacity of grump!!! No seriously, with the shops and stores around us filling with Christmas gifts and decorations, the holiday season moving up on us quickly for many the time from Thanksgiving onwards will be spent in a headlong rush towards Christmas with hardly a time to breathe.... I am looking at the possibility of finding little gaps in the day or the week to spend in extravagant unbusyness ( a wonderful phrase coined by fellow revgal Michelle)...So given those little gaps, name 5 things you would do to;

1.to care for your body
a long brisk walk, followed by 30 minutes in a hot tub, followed by a full body massage

2. to care for your spirit
have a conversation of some significant length with a dear sibling or friend

3. to care for your mind
read a nourishing book that might not have anything to do with my ministry

4. to bring a sparkle to your eye
watch a comedy movie

5. to place a spring in your step
Have a romantic evening with my partner

Enjoy the time to indulge and dream.... and then for a bonus which one on the list are you determined to put into action? #5, definitely

Mitttrocentric Language

2007-11-09T06:05:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me yesterday that, when I describe the state in which I live geographically [as opposed to the state of my soul or the state of my character or the state of my sense of humor] that I have been leaving out nearly half of the state.

Michigan is more than the Land of God's Left Hand, the part of the state that is affectionately called "da Mitt." Michigan is also da U.P., Land of Da Yoopers, eh?

Please forgive me for my Mittrocentric language.

So Michigan is now, in my blog at least, the Land of God's Left and Right Hands --one hand is da mitt, the other hand is da U.P. [Upper Peninsula]

Why Amending A Constitution Is A Big Deal

2007-11-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, I got up bright and early after a night of next to no sleep to drive down to the Capitol of the Land of God's Left Hand to sit through a portion of a hearing before the state Supreme Court.

Faithful readers, all four or five of you, may wonder why I did this.

The short story is that I went to "pray in place" that justice be done for God's LGBTQetc. children. I went to flash a clerical collar to show that many Christians believe that "Marriage is Love".

Here's the long story ...

Back in '04, voters in the Land of God's Left Hand approved an amendment to the state constitution that had the following wording: "To secure and preserve the benefits of marriage for our society and for future generations of children, the union of one man and one woman in marriage shall be the only agreement recognized as a marriage or similar union for any purpose."

[The voters, BTW, as Justice Robert P. Young, Jr. pointed out during the hearing, did not see this actual wording on the ballot when they voted 59% to 41% to amend the state constitution in this manner.]

When the amendment was actually on the table, opponents of the amendment challenged proponents of the amendment, saying, "What does 'similar union for any purpose mean?' Looks like you folks are going after domestic partner benefits that many public and private sector companies in our state offer. If this amendment passes, several people will lose benefits like health insurance for themselves and their children, family leave and so forth."

Proponents of the amendment responded, "We're not interested in removing anyone's health benefits --we just want to protect the institution of marriage." Said proponents included people like the Michigan Catholic Conference [which contributed $500,000 to the effort to ban same-sex marriage], Citizens For The Protection of Marriage and the American Family Association of Michigan. Here's a link to a background article from the Oakland Press. Here's a link to an article where "Marlene Elwell, chair of the Citizens for Protection of Marriage, an advocacy group in favor the amendment, calls accusations of lost benefits “absolutely not true” and downplays their impact, saying the amendment will not affect private business."

Well, after the amendment passed, guess what happened?

Upon recommendation of the State AG, the governor almost immediately removed same sex domestic partner benefits from contracts with state employees because the amendment was worded in such a way as to appear to void those benefits. She did so under protest, because she disagreed with the AG's interpretation of the amendment's impact upon DP benefits.
Folks from the city of Kalamazoo solicited an opinion from the states Attorney General, Mike Cox, who basically stated that the amended constitution "prohibits state and local governmental entities from conferring benefits on their employees on the basis of a "domestic partnership" agreement that is characterized by reference to the attributes of a marriage." See this link.
At that point, 25 same-sex couples ["Pride At Work"] filed suit against the State of Michigan in order to retain their benefits. In the initial court hearing before Judge Joyce Draganchuk, she ruled that same-sex domestic partner benefits were benefits of employment, not marriage. The state AG promptly appealled, and Draganchuk's ruling was overturned by the 3 member Michigan Court of Appeals. Their ruling has been appealed now to the state supreme court.

Which brings us to how I spent my Tuesday morning.

The "Pride at Work" side argued that offering SSDP Benefits does not constitute "recognition" of a relationship by a state entity, but is rather only terms of employment. Employment benefits are more dissimilar to the rights and privileges of marriage than similar. SSDP Benefits do not constitute "a similar union for any purpose" nor do they constitute a "recognition" of a same-sex union. This side also pointed out that the voters were misled as to the intent of the amendment as well as the consequences of its wording, that the voters did not have a adequate understanding of the word "recognition" or the phrase "similar union for any purpose."

The other side [boo! hiss! Yes, OF COURSE I am biased!] argued that the wording of the amendment and hence, its meaning, was clear and plain to the voter. SSDP Benefits are a "marriage-like" first step in legitimizing gay unions and, if these benefits are offered to gay couples, it will not be long before other "marriage-like" benefits will be offered, thus eroding the special place and status the institution of marriage holds in our society. Since the clear intent of the amendment is to "secure and preserve the benefits of marriage for our society," SSDP Benefits should not be offered by the state, because they are a "marriage-like" agreement, not merely a contractual agreement between employer/employee.

The Supreme Court will likely not rule on this case until Spring 2008.

In the meantime, it would be nice if the LGBTQetc community in the Land of God's Left Hand could begin an effort to repeal this amendment. OTOH, we LGBTQetc folk have a lot more to worry about than this, such as the state's economy, the war in Iraq, the continued bullying of kids in school who are LGBT or perceived to be, continued employment discrimination against LGBTQetc people, the plight of aging LGBTQetc persons, and intracommunity struggles with racism, classism, sexism, ageism.

And I have a sermon to write, and some church bookkeeping to help straighten out.

The RGBP Friday Five: Interviews

2007-11-02T06:26:00.000-07:00

Bishop Laura over at Junia's Daughter provides this [personally very timely for me] F5:

Songbird just had an interview for a "vague and interesting" possibility, and More Cows than People is doing campus visits for doctoral programs. There always seem to be a few RevGals applying for new positions, and I just got my first call for this year's preliminary interviews for college teaching jobs at the American Academy of Religion meeting in San Diego coming up in a few weeks. It's for my dream job among this year's offerings, and I am flipflopping between excitement and nervousness. So please keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for everyone facing such conversations, and share your thoughts on the wonderful world of interviews:

1. What was the most memorable interview you ever had?
Probably my interview for my ordination as Deacon in the UMC. I was gathered in a big room at a youth retreat center north of Dallas with about 20 people interviewing me. The only other women there [in 1988] were my reader and presenter. Despite the uneven odds, I remember it being an overwhelmingly positive experience. When I exited the room, I of course headed for the bathroom --and they sent my presenter in after me to give me the good news.

2. Have you ever been the interviewer rather than the interviewee? If so, are you a tiger, a creampuff, or somewhere in between?

Depends what kind of interview it is and for what purpose. The context implies job interviews, but what about press interviews, and the interviews those of us who lobby do with our elected officials? It also depends on who the interviewee is ... but most times I probably tend to the cream puff side of things.

3. Do phone interviews make you more or less nervous than in-person ones?

More nervous, because there's fewer non-verbal cues.

4. What was the best advice you ever got to prepare for an interview? How about the worst?

I don't think I have ever received advice [as such] that is memorable as being either bad or good, although I have had scads of ordination interviews in two different denominations. Of course, there was lots of preparation for those things. I have had some pretty good media training, which I would recommend for anyone in a leadership role, regardless whether you regularly talk with the press or not.

5. Do you have any pre-interview rituals that give you confidence?

I play out a worst-case scenario or two in my head, get to a place where I'm comfortable with what happens, and tell myself if I can handle that, I can handle anything. I also breathe a lot.

The Power I Didn't Know I Had Is Really Amazing

2007-11-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

There appears to be a rumor/misunderstanding going around some folks who are a part of the congregation from which I am departing that I and one other member of a 5 person board of directors have somehow managed to put a second mortgage against the church property in order to create a severance package for me.

I don't have the power to do that. Neither does the other board member mentioned. I wouldn't do it if I did, because it is not ethical and it's illegal --that would be embezzelment. In fact, the board of directors would not have the power to borrow against the building --that would have to go before a congregational meeting because of the amount of money involved.

Since I have no provision for severance in my contract beyond being paid for unused vacation--all of which has been used-- I am very, very infuriated by this. I really hope I am mistaken that this is happening.

The How Will You Die Quiz

2007-10-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

How will I die? Your Result: You will die while having sex. Your last moments in this life will be enjoyable indeed...hopefully. Do not fear sex. Try not to become celibate as a way of escaping death. You cannot run from destiny.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die in a car accident.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die of boredom.
You will be murdered.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
How will I die? Create a Quiz

Hmmmm. Well, the french do refer to orgasm as L'petit Morte, yes ...?

Hallow'een Friday 6

2007-10-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

The lovely Singing Owl posts:
"All Hallows Eve (Halloween) is near. As a child, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. We didn’t yet worry about razor blades in apples or popcorn balls or some of the other concerns people have with Halloween these days. Halloween was a chance to be mildly scared, and better yet, to dress up and pretend to be something we really weren’t. Let’s talk about that a bit, but then let’s add in some food ideas for this year. Where I live the leaves are falling, the temperature is chilly and pumpkins are for sale everywhere, along with many kids of apples. What's more, the "Holiday Season" will soon be upon us. ACK! I could use a new idea for dessert. So, here we go…"

1. How did you celebrate this time of year when you were a child? My mom and the two oldest sibs would help me and my youngest brother choose or create a costume, and take us out to roam great distances throughout the neighborhood. The parents would then sort through the bag and throw out the things about which they were nervous, and then dole out what we collected appropriately.

2. Do you and/or your family “celebrate” Halloween? Why or why not? And if you do, has it changed from what you used to do? DH and I usually purchase candy, and welcome trick or treaters. We often go to costume parties if there is one available, which DH really gets into. The last one we went to at her nephew's, we went as Spartans [as in MSU Spartans] complete with facial hair and appropriate armor. The most elaborate costume DH ever created consisted of numerous pull tabs [remember those?] from beer and soda cans, collected for nearly a year, and joined together to create chain mail for "Sir Laughs-a-lot".

2. Candy apples: Do you prefer red cinnamon or caramel covered? Or something else? 5+ plus years of braces in my youth kind of turned me off from caramel apples and chewing gum. But apple slices dipped in peanut butter rock.

3. Pumpkins: Do you make Jack O’ Lanterns? Any ideas of what else to do with them? Not usually ... although it has been such a good year for pumpkins and they are so pretty that I might just carve one this year. And roast the seeds.

4. Do you decorate your home for fall or Halloween? If so, what do you do? Bonus points for pictures. We have lots of maple and oak trees in our yard, so we leave the autumn decor up to Mother Nature.

5. Do you like pretending to be something different? Does a costume bring our an alternate personality? Yes and yes ...

Bonus: Share your favorite recipe for an autumn food, particularly apple or pumpkin ones. I'm feeling bone dry in the recipe department ... because my creative energies are being directed elsewhere. See previous post!

RDQ Reappears After Mysterious 3 Week Absence

2007-10-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

Life has been very, very interesting lately. Let me just catch you up:

*This past Wednesday, I have resigned one of my two pulpits, the church in Flint. My last Sunday in worship with this congregation will be November 25th. I tendered my resignation at the meeting of our board of directors, who received it with appropriate sadness, but also appropriate support. So, for the next 30 days, I and hopefully these congregants will be praying and saying our "goodbyes", tying up some loose ends, preparing for the annual congregational meeting, and preparing to say "hello" to an interim pastor as well as new ideas, new vision and new energy for ministry. Dear readers, all 4 or 5 of you, I solicit your prayers for me and this congregation, as well as the denominational leaders who will be assisting us through the transition.

*Yesterday, I found out that what appeared to be an exciting new interim job opportunity doing peace and justice ministry may not be open to me in quite the way I and a few other folk thought it would be. Pray for patience, "clearness" and wisdom for me and some others who are impacted by multiple transitions and the unexpected, and trying to figure out what is possible, reasonable and just, fair, ethical ... and best.

*I finished my 2006 income taxes, 8 days after the extension deadline. Oh well! I had planned several dates with Uncle Sam at the US Treasury, but you know ... he's just sooooo high-maintenance. I really wish the tax deadline didn't usually fall so close to Easter --at least in 2008 it doesn't, hallelujah. OTOH, there will be only a month to breathe between Epiphany and Ash Wednesday. But an extra month to breathe after Easter.

*I took part in an exciting retreat this past weekend which I blogged about here. I learned some new concepts, such as "cultural appropriation", and experienced the diversity of the LGBTetc. "community of communities" more directly and personally than I usually have opportunity. So, gathered together in one room there were ... black/African American/American of African descent SGL Lesbian Christians and clergy, white Christian clergy, straight people, pagan/earth-based/shamanic practitioners, transpeople, intersexed, disabled, atheist, multi-faith, buddhist, Unitarian Universalist, highly educated and non-literate, Quaker .... and I know with certainty I am leaving someone out. We're already planning a similar event in May and October of next year.
*I attended one night of the week-long Reel Pride Film Festival, an annual event sponsored by the Triangle Foundation which shows all kinds of movies which would be of interest to members of the TBGL community. A short film called "Pariah" really spoke to me, particularly one of the featured songs which had this refrain: "someday I will be able to bring all of whom I am".

[Dear God, how I am longing for a place, a space, a time to bring all of me ... Dear God, the church isn't always a place where I can do that. What are we to do about that?]

Thankfulness Friday Five

2007-10-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

Mary Beth of Terrapin Station posts a very simple F5 this week: Name five things [people, places, miracles] for which you are thankful.

This is one of those weeks for me in which the practice of gratitude is a discipline, not an emotion readily expressed, so this is a timely exercise. Here goes ...

1. I am thankful for a loving partner that will sleep with me even when I have eaten more than a usual amount of GARLIC. ["Are you afraid of vampires or something?" DH asked me this morning. "I know it's healthy for you to eat it, but doesn't it work better in small doses ...? I'm not complaining or anything."]

You mean garlic isn't an aphrodisiac? Who knew?

2. I am thankful for techy things like skype, facebook and blogrings, which allow me to be in touch with a supportive, loving community made up of folks that send me everything from virtual flowers to virtual Porsches [a particularly memorable gift from Rainbow Pastor.]
I am especially thankful for these things when I am mightily tempted to chuck the PC out the nearest window or take a sledge hammer to it, as has happened often this past week.

3. I am thankful for what folks in the recovery community sometimes call an AFGO [she says aloud as she types through her gritted teeth]: Another Fireplacin' Growth Opportunity.

4. I am thankful for my two-week vacation which starts next Wednesday.

5. I am most especially thankful that God sees an order in chaos that I cannot, and I will trust that She Knows What She Is Doing. I will trust that when the time is right, She Will Let Me In On The Secret Just A Little Bit.

The Swan Song Friday Five

2007-09-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

Reverendmother's timing for this particularly Friday Five is providential perhaps, as several folks I know are leaving one place to move on to another place. She writes:

Well friends, as I prepare for the birth of Bonus Baby, it's time to simplify life, step back from the Friday Five, and let one of the other capable and creative RevGals take the helm. It's been a great almost 17 months of co-hosting the F5, but it's time to say goodbye... so here's my swan song.

On Endings and Goodbyes:

1. Best ending of a movie/book/TV show
The final scene of the movie "Places In The Heart", with everybody receiving communion, everybody passing the plates of bread and cups --including two key folks in the movie that die within the first five minutes of it. My description does not do the scene justice --it's one of the best cinematic depictions of the Kindom of God I have ever seen. I always cry when I see it; I always catch my breath.

I feel much the same way about the scene in Schindler's List when the Schindler Jews climb the hill in black and white --and their descendents crest the hill in color.

2. Worst ending of a movie/book/TV show
DH and I remember leaving the theatre after seeing "War Of The Worlds" thinking to ourselves, "that was way too improbable and sudden."

3. Tell about a memorable goodbye you've experienced.
Leaving my family [and so much else belovedly familiar] in Texas to come with my partner to Michigan was very memorable. Although I suppose that was much more of a "goodbye for now." Leaving the UMC for the MCC was pretty memorable too --I think I still have noticeable scars from that.

4. Is it true that "all good things must come to an end"?
Not if one allows for the possibility of and accepts change.

5. "Everything I ever let go of has claw marks on it." --Anne Lamott
Discuss.
Well ... not everything. One of the reoccurring life-metaphors I experience is that of cliff-diving. Sometimes I have jumped off the cliff --no claw marks there. Other times, someone has pushed me --that usually features claw marks.

Bonus: "It isn't over until the fat lady sings." I've never loved this expression. So propose an alternative: "It isn't over until ____________________"

Everybody gets to dance.

Faith and Social Justice Retreat Opportunity in Michigan

2007-09-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

And not just for Michiganders, but people who could travel easily to the west side of Michigan for a wonderful retreat opportunity October 19th-21st. I am SOOOO looking forward to this!

I quote from the flier:

The Together in Faith Collaborative brings LGBTQ, Same Gender Loving People and Straight Allies of all ages, races, religions and spiritualities together in Michigan to make sustainable changes within Michigan. It is an opportunity for skill development, community and team building.

I know that some of the programming being offered includes SGL [Same Gender Loving] & LGBTQ In Religion/Spirituality 101, and Creating Welcoming & Affirming Congregations. Beyond LGBT issues, there's training offered regarding Inclusive Language in Faith Settings.

The Collaborative is an intimate atmosphere, open to less than 50 participants, and provides both a retreat and reflective atmosphere for clergy, lay leaders, activists and organizers to rejuvenate and restore themselves and their spiritual connections.

Because the American Friends Service Committee, The Faith Action Network and the Arcus Foundation who supports the TIF Collaborative, believe in this work and this community, we have done everything in our power to make it accessible to all LGBTQA and Same Gender Loving communities. The sliding scale fee is $25 – $175 and covers all lodging, food and activities for the weekend starting Friday evening at 7pm and continuing until Sunday at 1pm. We are happy to assist with car pooling or ride shares as well.

If you need more information, or desire to register, just click on the link. Or, feel free to post questions in the comments and I will do my best to answer them.

Random Catch Up Musings

2007-09-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a heckuva week since I blogged last ... here's some random catch-up thoughts.

The memorial service for the congregant who died very suddenly and very unexpectedly went well, although the whole thing felt unusually odd for me. Usually I do some of my best work at funerals and memorials and I am fully comfortable throughout the process, but this time there was this tiny nagging sense of the weird that was beyond only the suddenness of the death. Then I finally figured out what the "weird" was --I haven't held a memorial for an actual congregant in about a decade. Lots of funerals and memorials for relatives of congregants, even a few for my own relatives, but not congregants themselves, mostly because most MCC people tend to be baby-boomers. It was weird to have actually known the person whose life I was celebrating.

DH had an electromyelogram [EMG] down at the VA in Ann Arbor. That's the test where they stick electrically charged needles in appropriate extremities to measure nerve trauma and so forth. Despite the needles, DH found the experience very affirming, particularly since, for the first time in her life, someone appears to have successfully identified the source of her chronic headaches. The full diagnoses I can't even spell, much less pronounce [the Doc wrote it out for her on a post-it note] but suffice it to say that her C6 and C7 are bulging, her neck bones are shaped like this, \ , when they should be shaped more like this, ( , and she has a trigger point in her occipital region which creates spasms and pain in the muscles that stretch over her skull. Since DH would like to work as long as possible, and hence avoid much use of narcotics, the doc has prescribed physical therapy, particularly manual traction. Unfortunately, DH hasn't figured out yet how to make PT work in her job schedule, which starting in October becomes more challenging than usual since she'll be in a training class for two months in big south east city.

There was lots to do last week, there's lots to do this week, including a board meeting tonight, shopping for a 21st century PC for one of the churches [the one I am typing this on is still running Windows 98, has 9 gig of memory and 256 of ram] a meeting Thursday evening and a luncheon Friday in big southeast city. [Fortunately, Rainbow Pastor is offering hospitality at her place --many thanks, RP]. I'm also working on a 360 review for a friend [thankfully that's almost finished] and trying to work out airfare and other arrangements for my sister to visit me.

Why does September go from 0 to 90 mph in a matter of seconds ...?

6 Years Ago Today I Was ...

2007-09-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

... working in tiny little Kewadin, Michigan, far, far away from TVs. I didn't even have the radio on. It was a beautiful almost-autumn day, cool and crisp in the morning, brilliant sunshine pouring like honey into the windows as the day lengthened. I could step out of the office, look across acres and acres of farmland and orchards to see the trees just beginning to turn orange, red, yellow.

The only disaster I thought I would deal with that day was the checkbook for my BIL's business.
DH called me from her job. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Um, no."

"You aren't near a TV or a radio?"

"No, I'm in BIL's office --what's up?"

She told me that there had been a terrible accident, that a plane had flown into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. "Didn't you visit there when you were working in Manhattan last year?"

"Yes, we went up into the visitors' center and walked around on the observation deck on one of the towers. That was the first part of September too..."

"Wait," DH said, "something else is going on --I'll call you back!"

So I go back to the checkbook.

When DH called back, she said, "Honey, I think you better go down to the house and look at the TV --they think we're under attack. Another plane has flown into the other tower, and they're saying something about the Pentagon."

I gave up on the checkbook --suddenly, it no longer appeared to be much of a disaster.

And this is why, 6 years later, the whole thing still seems so surreal to me, still so hard to believe: because I was in the middle of nowhere, in almost absolute solitude, working in silence and beauty, on something as tangible and easily grasped as numbers in a checkbook.

While I was not paying attention, the world changed.

************************

When I left about 6 pm that evening, I noticed something absolutely bizarre for tiny little Kewadin. Cars were lined up four deep on each side at the two somewhat decrepid gas pumps at the little local party store/grocery/deli. And the price of gas had shot up to $2.99. $2.99!!!

I glanced down at my gauge ... about a quarter of a tank, not enough to get me home. I'd normally gas up in Kalkaska, but I was afraid my usual station may have run out of gas before I got there. So, down the road a piece --and into the very long line at the Shell station in Elk Rapids. Probably the entire Elk Rapids police force was there, directing traffic and keeping order in the line. I hadn't waited in lines like this since the late 70's --and I damn sure hadn't EVER spent $2.99 a gallon for gas.

My car radio was tuned to NPR's round the clock coverage by this time, and I knew that every airplane had been grounded and every airport closed. Glad I wasn't at an airport.

30 minutes later, I drove on --and there was very, very little traffic. It was so quiet. Even on US 127 [for some reason I felt safer going "the back way"] I was pretty much the only car on the road. Most folks were probably at home, glued to their TV sets, thinking it wise to conserve gasoline.

I just wanted to get home.

I Mourn

2007-09-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

I mourn the passing of Madeleine L'Engle, whose books I loved, especially A Wrinkle In Time and the Crosswicks Journals ...

May God grant her peace and may she rest from her labors in Eternal Light.

Friday 5 -Overcoming

2007-09-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sally of the RevGalBlogPals shares this:

"I am preparing this Friday 5 just before I take Chris into hospital for a cardioversion, right now we are all a little apprehensive. But this whole thing has got me thinking, so many of us are overcomers in one way or anoither, so many have amazing stories to tell of God's faithfulness in adversity. And so I bring you this Friday 5:"

1. Have you experienced God's faithfulness at a difficult time? Tell as much or as little as you like...
2. Have you experienced a dark night of the soul, if so what brought you through?

I have had some pretty serious bouts with depression and "accidie", that old archaic word that has similar meaning to apathy, torpor, ennui, sloth --and is appropriately one of the seven deadly sins. God has always been there with a word in season from often an unexpected source [once it was my astrological forecast that week in the local LGBT newspaper] and a much needed lift, or kick in the pants. Annie Dillard once said, "I felt as if I were a bell and I had been struck" --I think revelation is often exactly like that.

3. Share a Bible verse, song, poem that has brought you comfort?

Once, when I found myself in the Abyss, over a thanksgiving holiday when I was housesitting for friends, I glanced at one of those "a word of wisdom a day" tear-off calendars they had in their kitchen window. They hadn't torn the sheets off for about a week, so it was as if the message had waited for me to find it: "When I learned the distinction between being in control of my life and being in charge of my life, it made all the difference."
That is also the thanksgiving holiday when I learned that very often, thanksgiving is a discipline, not a feeling. When the apostle Paul advises us "In everything, give thanks," he doesn't mean "be thankful for everything" in Pollyanna fashion. He means, "seek diligently to find something for which to be thankful at all times."
That proved to be a key directional sign on my pathway out of that particular instance of the Abyss as I struggled to find something for which I could thank God. Some days it was "Thank you God that at this moment I am able to breathe ..."

4. Is "why suffering" a valid question?

Yes, especially given that so often the roots of human suffering really aren't as mysterious as we make them sometimes [although the roots are often complex]. Examining the "why" of suffering may offer a path toward healing, wholeness and hope.
At the same time, I think it is intellectually dishonest only to ask "why do bad things happen?" We must also ask, "Why do good things happen?" --which I suspect is the far more interesting question.

5. And on a lighter note- you have reached the end of a dark and difficult time- how are you going to celebrate?

Usually with some kind of ritual that marks an ending and a new beginning ... I have burned things, buried things and bought new things. I have smudged things. I have had long conversations with pictures propped up in a chair ... I have kept some old things, but renamed them, imbuing them with new life and meaning.

Bonus- anything you wish to add....

Woman Talk

2007-09-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a Hot Flash. Oh ... Crap. [Not what I wanted to say.] I had visions of Joan of Arc and spontaneous combustion. At least it was mercifully brief.

Aunt Flo is here for her usual, every 28 day, very regular visit [there for awhile she arrived 15 minutes before the 11 am service every fourth Sunday --that was truly a pain in the anatomy] and I suppose that MAY have something to do with it.

I'm hoping that's it.

Surely I'm not really old enough to be menopausal --or even peri-menopausal. In fact, today I was carded when I bought a 6-pack of beer ... so that couldn't possibly be it. Right?

Right?

[ahem] RIGHT?

Please tell me that I don't have to read up on Croning ceremonies yet.

Inspiration from MLK Jr.

2007-09-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, both churches will have outdoor worship services at the homes/farms of church members followed by potlucks.

The services will be different from the usual, as one could imagine. The sermon time will feature more of a discussion centered around questions like these:

If you could do anything at all to make a difference in people's lives, what would it be?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What epitaph would you want on your tomb?

What gift would you give to God? [I know it's not Christmas, but think of the Magi and --if you must-- the Little Drummer Boy ...]

Some of the texts I am considering using are:
Possible Legacy Texts: Matthew 13:44-46 [selling all one has for the kingdom]
Matthew 26:13||Mark 14:9
[woman who is remembered for anointing Jesus]
I Cor 3:10-15 [hmmmm]

But here's the really awesome stuff I read today. I'm thinking of utilizing these quotes from MLK Jr. for a Contemporary Witness selection:

"I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live."
-----Speech in Detroit, June 23, 1963

"The church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society."
-----Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 1963

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)

"If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well."

There is a method to my madness with this ... but I'm not going to say more about it at this point.

In the meantime, in about an hour, DH will arrive home, and I will drive her to the local Hyundai dealership where she is going to buy an Accent.

As a social worker who drives all over 5 or 6 counties, she really needs something more gas efficient than her Ford F-150 With The Biggest V-8 Gasoline Engine Ford Has Ever Made. That works great for hauling stuff and towing the 5th wheel ... but not for driving all over God's Creation.

Worldview Quiz

2007-09-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

Some of these results don't surprise me ...

You scored as Cultural Creative, Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

100%

Idealist

81%

Postmodernist

63%

Modernist

31%

Existentialist

31%

Materialist

25%

Romanticist

25%

Fundamentalist

What is Your World View?
created with QuizFarm.com

Last Night, I Slept ...

2007-08-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

... all night long. Yippee!!!!!!

It's 4 am --Why Am I Not Asleep, Dammit

2007-08-29T01:09:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have been able to sleep a night through without benefit of a sleep-aid of some kind in about 6 months.

I usually have to get up at least once in the night to pee, and when I do, once I am awake ... I can't stop the thoughts, the anxious round of "What can I do about this ... and this? Oh damn, I hadn't even thought of that" and so forth. So often, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't ... just plain damned, caught between a rock and a hard place.

Lately, I feel like everytime I open my mouth, I am alienating somebody --including some of the people that are supposed to be helping me out. Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of keeping my mouth closed.

The tears are right there on the surface --but they absolutely do not quite come. The earliest Christians used to pray for the grace, the gift of tears; the Apostle Paul talks about praying in sighs and groans too deep for words and it would relieve the heaviness of my stress to cry it out. But I just ... can't quite do that yet.

Some of the lay people at my church would be appalled that I don't pray my way through my insomnia. They don't understand that there is a curious thing that happens when I try to pray for my own needs in the middle of the night --maybe it happens with some of the rest of my clergy sibs as well. I start praying in "Jesus' name" --and, unbidden, thoughts of my congregants intrude and before I realize it, I am back on the anxiety merry-go-round [now that's an oxymoron for you] riding the horsies ... and trying to figure out how I got there.

The other night, I meditated upon the serenity prayer, and repeated it mentally [because I don't want to disturb DH, who also is often sleep challenged because of her headaches] ... and thought of two of my congregants who are very active in AA, which in turn started me down another pig path, another rabbit trail ... which would be fine, except I need to be sleeping!

There's an exercise I like to do that used to work to relax me and induce a light trance ... Utilizing a name of God that is two syllables, one breathes in slowly on the first syllable ["yaaaaahhhhhh-"] and breathes out slowly on the second ["weeeehhhhh"]. Simple exercise ... but even that isn't working for me right now.

So I am considering the "Better Living Through Nifty Chemicals" option ... think I'll go take a benedryl.

One More Bit Of Friday Miscellanea

2007-08-24T18:32:00.001-07:00

Can I just say that I think Ann Coulter is arrogant and narcissistic ...?

Miscellaneous Friday Notes

2007-08-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

It was raining swords and daggers just a moment ago --now it's not. But it will be again soon.
-----------------------------
My two cats, Pooter and Corky, have been missing their catboxes a lot lately. In fact, they've even missed the room in the basement where their catboxes are located. I've just mopped the floor in the basement [the part where we like to dance and party] with Murphy's Oil Soap and water. Next, when it's thoroughly dry, I'm going to mop the floor with plain white vinegar. The theory is that, since cat urine is mostly ammonia, a base, the vinegar, which is an acid, will neutralize the cat's pee. We'll see ... in the meantime, my house will likely smell like I'm processing pickles for a few days.

It's a good thing DH and I love the cats --otherwise they might be on a slow boat to China by now.
-----------------------------
Tonight I'm going to do something I haven't done in about 20 years. I'm going to make tacos the way my mother used to make them. It goes something like this. Preheat the oven to 350. Brown ground beef. Drain. Add some onion. Pour a can of store-bought chili --real chili like Wolf brand or Austex-- into the meat. Let simmer for awhile until its bubbly. Spoon a generous portion of the chili and meat mixture into taco shells. Sprinkle in cheese and onion. Bake in the oven, until the cheese is melted and the beef stuff is a little dry in appearance. When the tacos cool, try to eat them without spilling the contents onto your shirt.

This is the way we used to eat tacos before we discovered Taco Bell ...

Cultural Friday Five

2007-08-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

Sally, one of our RevGalBlogPals from across the pond, offers us this F5 today:

I have spent the week at Summer School studying the Gospel and Western culture, we have looked at art, literature, music, film and popular culture in their myriad expressions. With that in mind I bring you the cultural Friday 5.

Name a
1. Book
2. Piece of music
3. Work of art
4. Film
5. Unusual engagement with popular culture that have helped/challenged you on your spiritual journey.

Bonus: Is engagement essential to your Christian faith, how and why?

Book: Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst. I picked this one among many because "... those who lose their lives will save them" and because others might not think of it.
Piece of Music: The 23rd Psalm by Bobby McFerrin, listen [I hope.]
Work[s] of Art: Two panels of Matthias' Grunewald's Isenheim Altarpiece, Crucifixion and Resurrection. I have shared these before.
Film[s]: Schindlers List, Places In The Heart, The Color Purple
Unusual: Hey, let's talk some architecture, shall we? How about the Community of Christ temple in Independence, MO, which you can read about here on Wikipedia. Unfortunately the pictures don't do it justice.

Now for the Bonus question ... yes, engagement with the world beyond the boundaries of church is very essential to my faith, because I believe that "God is still speaking" there [thanks UCC] and I don't want to put a period where God has placed a comma [say good night, Gracie]. The world is also where the church's mission and ministry is to take place, and where its witness to God's love, peace and justice is CRUCial ....

Ingredients and Warning Label

2007-08-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was visiting with my friend and fellow activist Kator down in Most Liberal City in the Land of God's Left Hand and somehow we got to discussing the subject of "wouldn't it be nice if certain people had warning labels?" And then, because we thought that was kind of negative, we thought that maybe an "ingredients label" would be better for people.

Imagine how much easier pastoring and other church work would be if everyone had a "Nutritional Facts" label imprinted on their foreheads which described their make-up and under what circumstances they functioned well or functioned poorly ... just like a food product, dietary supplement or pharmaceutical.

And sure enough, a couple of days after that conversation, Kator sent along her very own nutritional facts label, and challenged me to produce my own. We also talked about how this might be a wonderful pre-marriage exercise for couples to do, and talked about how beneficial this exercise might be to people in many different circumstances.

So here's my "Nutritional Facts" label for Rev. Dona Quixote ... see what you think:

Nutrition Facts: [Rev. Dona Quixote]

Ingredients: mischevious moonshine; new wine of spirit; effervescent champagne joy; prophetic piss and vinegar; fire-roasted chili pepper smart-ass salsa; loving, gentle lamb; rambunctious ardent ram; persistence of pig-head; seething, simmering just-below-the surface passion sauce [serving suggestion: douse with brandy and light like a torch –poof!!!!], filet of fierce tenderness of mama bear, cream of caring, Good Humour happy-dance ice-cream delight, buttery rich lusciousness of tongue, speech and thought, ornery wild oats not yet sown. Minimal amounts of china-closet clumsy bull, savory of senseless shyness, mysterious moodiness and inscrutable closed-mouth clam may be present.

Serving Size: 1 Person, Super-sized, Voluptuous and Delicious

For Best Results:
This product performs admirably under the following conditions: presence of good humor, thoughtfulness, graciousness, good food, drink, meaningful conversation, encouragement, generosity of spirit and love, and big hugs.
Generous amounts of wine, women and song will greatly enhance this product’s flavor.
Despite this product’s propensity for intensity, regular times of reflection, isolation and solitude are important to maintain this product’s potency.

Warnings:
This product is volatile under certain conditions. Please note for your safety that:
· Contents tend to function poorly and possibly disappear mysteriously from your pantry if exposed to any of the following: micro-management and other forms of condescension, rigidity of thought and/or practice and other forms of inflexibility, petty criticism, manipulative behavior, nagging, whining, willful ignorance, gossip and other forms of inauthentic and unhelpful speech.
· Contents may EXPLODE if exposed to high levels of the following: recalcitrant technology, unexplainably slow traffic, arrogance, greed, selfishness, bullshit and boredom, and nearby explosions of other products.

Made in Dallas, Texas xxxx xxxx xxxx

Friday 5: Word Association Redux

2007-08-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

From Reverend Mother:

This one is patterned off an old Friday Five written by Songbird, our Friday Five Creator Emerita:

Below you will find five words. Tell us the first thing you think of on reading each one. Your response might be simply another word, or it might be a sentence, a poem or a story.

1. vineyard
Mmmmmmmmm .... wine... yum. Actually have a visual of Willow Vineyards, a Michigan vineyard high on a hill that overlooks Grand Traverse Bay and has an incredible view --it is a wonderful place --and I bet Lutheran Chik has been there. Michiganders take note.
2. root
Depth --genealogical depth, depth in one's community--and nourishment.
3. rescue
What I find myself doing an awful lot of ....
4. perseverance
It's one of RDQ's [that's me] main ingredients, although it is listed as "persistence of pig-head" --see the post above this one
5. divided
Thinking about that classic parenting tale: two children have to share a candy bar. One cuts it in two, the other picks the piece s/he wants ... If only all of life were like that.

(Each of these appears in one of the readings from this Sunday's lectionary.)

Feeling Sick-ish

2007-08-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

Bleeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh ...

The inside of my sinus cavities are stinging, my ears are stuffed up and I have a headache.

I have one of those low-grade fevers that makes one feel bad, but not bad enough to go back to bed, know what I mean?

Debating on which med to take --desire something effective that won't make me sleepier than I already am. Think I'll go try some of DH's advil cold and sinus.

Maybe I'll snort some chicken broth too?

2007-08-08T19:03:00.001-07:00

Heaven Is Not A Merit Badge ...

2007-08-07T15:19:00.000-07:00

Every so often I remember the obvious in so new a light that my memory takes on the character of revelation.

While reviewing this Sunday's lectionary passages, I remembered: Heaven is not a merit badge.

I'm not a Girl Scout [another obvious statement to anyone who knows me!] going about the life of faith so I can fill up my sash with those fancy little patches or buttons and display it proudly on my chest.

zucchini, broccoli, and cucumbers --oh my!

2007-08-01T14:42:00.001-07:00

One of my congregants has a large garden and has blessed me with scads of fresh produce.

The tomatoes are ripening in the window. These we'll eat in slices ... with salt and pepper or creole seasoning ... when they're a tad more ripe.

But what about the zucchini, broccoli and cukes? More than any two people, DH and me, can eat?

Well, there are several large zukes suitable for grating into freezer bags in 2 cup portions for zucchini bread, in the winter when turning on the oven is a good thing. This I will do.

I'll probably deep fry some of the smaller ones. Yum. Some may go into a salad for tomorrow night's dinner, sliced, raw.

As for the broccoli, some will be steamed as a part of tonight's dinner --the rest I will prepare and freeze tomorrow.

The cukes are just screaming to be made into refrigerator pickles ... or maybe into canned pickles. I have the jars, I have the grape leaves --pickling spice for brine can be picked up at our local grocers. I even have white vinegar, that I purchased to clean the coffee maker, but cukes/pickles are more important.

Of course, there's always cuke and onion salad ... and cucumbers and yogurt.

And there's always the opportunity to share with others just as these were shared with me ...

What would you do with these fruits of the earth, the yield of God's hand?

Ennui

2007-07-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

Main Entry: en·nui
Pronunciation: \än-wē\
Function: noun
Etymology:
French, from Old French enui annoyance, from enuier to vex, from Late Latin inodiare to make loathsome — more at annoy
Date: 1732
: a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction : boredom

Boy have I got it BAAAAAAAAAD ...

It isn't like I don't have anything to do; it is just that that for the moment there's nothing appealing about doing any of those things.

Last week was like this too.

Friday Five: Floods and Droughts

2007-07-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Sally of the RGBPs writes:

Here in the UK we are struggling with floods, other parts of the world have similar problems without the infrastructure to cope with it, still others are badly affected by drought.... My son Jon is in Melbourne Australia where apparently it has been snowing ( yes it is winter but still!).... With crazy weather in mind I bring you this weeks Friday 5...
1. Have you experienced living through an extreme weather event- what was it and how did you cope?
In Texas, I have been endangered by tornados and one near miss lightning strike, but I have never experienced a property loss or serious property damage. When I was in 2nd grade, a tornado warning was issued while we were at school, and the sky was a serious enough cauldron of blackish-green that they made us evacuate into the hallway, and kneel down in front of the lockers with our arms over our heads. I think we were out there about a half hour, maybe an hour, until the all clear sounded. Then we went to lunch like nothing happened.
I also weathered out a very dangerous storm under a highway overpass --which you ARE NOT supposed to do, but it was the best shelter we had at the time.
The lightning strike happened at my little lake house on Lake Lewisville --it struck a tree about 15 feet away from the propane tank and about 50 feet away from the house. All of the tree bark exploded off the tree, and every circuit breaker in the house flipped. That was unnerving. As soon as it stopped raining/thundering, I went out into the yard --the tree was still smoking!
Then there was the great ice storm in Dallas in 1979, but I wrote about that already here.

2. How important is it that we wake up to issues such as global warming?
I think it is very important that we remain aware of climate change and the role we potentially play. I think it is also more useful to think about "global weirding", that we might not always experience the effects of global warming as heat, but rather as the upsetting of the earth's equilibrium and how that impacts our total climate.
3. The Christian message needs to include stewardship of the earths resources agree/ disagree?
Agree. Not taking care of the earth and her resources because "Jesus is coming soon" [or because it costs money and jobs or whatever reason] makes about as much sense as not taking care of one's own body because you're going to heaven after you die ... I personally find it very challenging, however, to step off the copious consumption train, especially when it comes to my use of fossil fuels, but in other ways as well. I confess that I struggle with this.
And because it is summer- on a brighter note....
4. What is your favourite season and why?
Up here in the Land of God's Left Hand, my favorite season is Autumn, although Michigan summers are amazing. It's all about the folliage.
5. Describe your perfect vacation weather....
Temps in the 70's, cool breezes, low humidity, lots of sunshine

Tour De France, Tour De Life?

2007-07-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks to DH, I have started watching the Tour De France --or at least most parts of it-- every year since 2001.

I marvel that these men can climb mountains on a bike --most of them without benefit of drugs or blood doping, despite what you may have heard in the news lately. I marvel that they can ride 188 km [117 miles] in a little over 4 hours. [DH once persuaded me to do a 22 mile bike tour up Mission Point in the Grand Traverse area of Michigan. I had to get off and walk the bike up one hill. I rested --a lot. It took me I think 2-3 hours to complete the ride. And every year, we visit Mackinac Island and ride the 9 flat miles around it. Sometimes we ride our local rail trail too. We haven't ridden much this summer, because our bikes require some repair and we haven't made time.]

I marvel that they descend those same mountains they climb, sometimes at speeds up to 50 mph --on thin little wheels, with a helmet as their only protection. Used to, they didn't wear helmets.

I marvel that they can ride for 21 days on those hard little seats. [Part of the reason why I rested so much on my 22 mile ride is that my butt got really sore and I had to get off the bike!]

I marvel that it is such a "civilized" sport, in the sense that co-operation among riders on a team or many riders in the Pelaton is a must, and that it is a sport that tends to reward generosity yet at the same time be competitive. It is rarely a violent sport --when it is, it is by accident, not by design.

I marvel that "domestiques" ride back to the team cars to get water for their colleagues, then peddle back up to them and hand out the water bottles --even Lance Armstrong did this for his team a time or two.

I marvel that mostly they keep pedaling, even when there's absolutely no hope of a stage win or the triumph of winning one of those special jerseys ... even when one of their fellows betrays them. Sometimes they "bonk" and barely survive --or fall-- or hit something. Sometimes they have to drop out, and end up in one of the rescue cars.

Sounds like a "Tour De Life" to me.

Right now, I'm peddling hard, but don't seem to be making much progress. Afraid I am about to "bonk". Should I start looking for that car to pick me up?

Somebody bring me some water ...

Monday Micellaneous, Posted on Tuesday

2007-07-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks to DH, and commercials for the Simpson's Movie, I am plagued by a terrible, terrible ear worm:

"Spider Pig, Spider Pig,
Does whatever a spider pig does ..."

Someone save me!

*****************************************************************
Go see Hairspray! Really. It's fun and funny and you will leave the theater with a big smile on your face. Do it ... John Travolta, in several different kinds of drag, simultaneously, is just one of many brilliant things about this movie.
******************************************************************
I had this co-conspiritorial conversation with one of my congregants Sunday:

"Psst. You want some Seven?"

I knew instantly what she was talking about and said, "You betcha. Tuesday?"

Harry Potter may be the new literary crack ...

Friday Five: Looking Back, Looking Forward

2007-07-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

Sally from the RevGalBlogPals posts this as today's F5:

"When I began work here at Downham Market a wise friend told me that after one year I would see a few changes and sense God at work- years two and three would cause me to question and to wonder why I had chosen to accept the post here and in year four I might see the beginnings of something new. And so with that in mind alongside yesterdays celebrations I bring you Friday 5, Looking Back, Looking Forward..."

1. Share a moment/ time of real encouragement in your journey of faith
Um, I'm blanking on that a bit right now ... but I do remember a revelatory dream I had once. I dreamt that I was like a small child being pushed/guided by unseen along a particular path. There were hands on my shoulders and the Person guiding me was standing behind me, directing my steps. It was a very timely dream, because it was a time in my life when I had no clarity about where I was going, and I couldn't necessarily "see" God's hand at work or readily sense God's presence.

2. Do you have a current vision / dream for your work/ family/ministry?
Yeah, but it remains rather nebulous right now. I'm having to go back to square one in some ways ... a la that quote from Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis regarding his own soul and "SuperPastor": "Your job is the relentless pursuit of who God has made you to be. And anything else you do is sin and you need to repent of it." So I'm rethinking many of my assumptions regarding who I think God intends me to be ... and seeking Sophia on that, I guess. Boy, does that sound like a book title or the headline for a personal ad --"Desperately Seeking Sophia"?
Sunday sermon freebie: maybe Mary is in the same boat as I am...?

3. Money is no object and so you will.....
Definitely go back to school. After a Sabbatical.

4. How do you see your way through the disappointments? What keeps you going?
I keep remembering what I think is the most radical faith statement in the entire Bible. Job says, speaking of God, "Even though he slay me, I will trust in him." I believe that God desires what is best for me and that nothing --NOTHING-- can ultimately separate me from Her love and her purpose for me. If it is true for me, it is true for anyone and everyone ... my role is to yield myself to that Spirit that is at work in me --in us-- to bring about God's Realm.
I also remember my "balcony people", my personal "cloud of witnesses" that surround me, and tell myself their stories over and over again ...

5. How important are your roots? I think my balcony people are like my roots --see answer for #4.

6. Bonus= what would you like to add ? Doing this F5 on a day when I am so busy doing other things --preparing worship, being somewhat attentive to DH's two sisters who are houseguests this week-- I think may be like Mary's seeking the better part ... or am I just rationalizing?

Cutting Edges and Polyamory

2007-07-19T13:43:00.000-07:00

Different Christian Denominations are experiencing different cutting edges, or, speaking euphemistically, different opportunities/challenges for growth.

For instance, in the worldwide Anglican Community, in Roman Catholicism, in certain strains of the Baptist tradition, the full inclusion of women in the life of the church remains a cutting edge that divides some people in the church from other folks in the church. The people who argue for full inclusion of women are "voices from the edge" so to speak.

In many, many different Protestant traditions, the full inclusion of GLBT people in the life of the church is a similar cutting edge, threatening to produce a schism of one kind or another.

In my particular denomination, these things are NOT cutting edges --they are pretty well taken for granted. Most of our elders are women; most of our pastors are women.

However, even in my mostly GLBTQueerQuestioningIntersexedAlliedSameGenderLoving
Add-Another-Letter-Here denomination, we too have many cutting edges, things over which as a denomination we are deeply divided ... but don't have the time to really talk about yet.

Polyamory is one of those things. I believe one's beliefs regarding polyamory is one of the things which identifies a person as liberal or conservative in my denomination.

What I am about to say regarding polyamory has the potential to get me in trouble with someone, whether it is a member of my church or congregant that reads my blog, or someone else. It doesn't matter which side I take or what I say --someone I love and care for will be offended, I guarantee it. Someone may decide to leave my church over what I write here --I hope not. I hope we can agree to disagree in love, and live in the tension between the already and the not yet ...

It is also my opinion and not that of my churches or my denomination. It is possibly different from the opinion of Rainbow Pastor, the only other MCCer known to me who is a part of the RGBP blog ring.
I first became exposed to the concept of polyamory at the 1999 MCC General Conference in LA. In MCC, besides a rite of Holy Matrimony [sacred commitment ceremony with officiant signing a marriage license as a witness of the state between two persons] we have a rite of Holy Union that, as the bylaw stated then and states now, unites two people in a sacred committed relationship, no license. A proposed bylaw change made it to the business meeting which would remove the word "two" from the Holy Union language, so that UFMCC pastors could unite more than two people in a Holy Union. [Some of us were doing that anyhow, not paying that close attention to the actual wording of the bylaw ... ;) Whoops.]
We sit in two houses to do our bidness, clergy and laity. Clergy traditionally vote their own conscience; lay delegates are elected to serve their churches as representatives of the will of the congregation. There are, of course, scads of categories of official observers with voice but no vote, where as a candidate for ordination I sat in 1999.
So, after much debate, the question was called. Red and green cards flew up into the air, too close to call, vote had to be counted. Removing the word "two" was narrowly defeated in the lay house, narrowly passed in the clergy house --which meant the overall defeat of the entire proposal.
Much to my chagrin, it has not made it to the floor of General Conference business meeting since, although there have been many valiant efforts to get another vote and change the wording. My suspicion is that most laity are agin it, most clergy are for it --and lots of people are afraid that, if MCC would approve Holy Unions for more than two persons, it would hamper our efforts for full marriage equality for GLBT persons. It would give the Religious Right more ammo in their battle against marriage equality. I'm not so sure that's true. More about that later.
Nevertheless, the practice of polyamory is alive, if not necessarily well, in my denomination. One of our elders is a member of a long-term triadic relationship and is very open about his relationship. During the state of the clergy meeting at our most recent clergy conference he expressed his hope that one day many of our clergy would be able to come out of the closet regarding their relationship status --and still be called to serve churches in our mostly congregationalist polity. A clergyperson in my region is very open about her long-term triadic relationship --and I was blessed to serve them communion at the closing worship service of this year's General Conference, when I felt no fear in acknowledging their triad, because in MCC our communion table is open to everyone. That is enough justification.
I was asked not long ago if, as a clergy person I would unite two persons in Holy Union who had an open relationship. [Many polyamorists would not define an open relationship between two persons as polyamorist.] I said that, Yes, I would --as long as I was convinced that the couple in question were thoroughly committed to one another and thoroughly confortable with their agreement with one another to be open. I would want them to discuss and agree upon what was acceptable to each in their openness, as well as ask them the usual hard questions one asks couples who are about to commit.
The same person also asked me if, as a clergy person, I would unite more than 2 people in a Holy Union. I said that MCC bylaws currently prohibited me from doing so and that I would not endanger my clergy credentials by opening myself up to complaint --but that I would do my best to work with that group of individuals to come up with a commitment ceremony, a time of blessing that would somehow acknowledge the sacredness of their relationship. Or I would refer them to someone else who would perform a Holy Union for them.
I am not happy with my response to that question, because I know what it is like to be excluded from full inclusion in a faith community. I know what it is like to have my gifts and graces for ministry denied because of whom I love. I know what "the closet" feels like: it looks and feels very much like a tomb.
Someone might accuse me of advocating for what some call "marriage-lite." I don't think I am, because, from what I have observed about people in open relationships and people in polyamorist relationships, their unions are far more complicated than the usual dyadic relationship. To make them work, participants in these relationships must be far more intentional about their commitments, their communication and their care for one another. It calls for a certain kind of unselfishness, often called "comperssion" by polyamorists, in which one lover delights that another lover has experienced pleasure in loving yet another ...
Would I personally engage in an open relationship? Nope, because I am in a committed relationship with someone who, currently at least, has no interest in doing that and I, currently at least, have no interest in doing that. If DH ever changes her mind [if Hell freezes over] we'd have to negotiate that.
Would I personally engage in a polyamorist relationship? I'm not sure I'd ever be up for that challenge, for a variety of reasons.
This is a long post --but remember, you didn't have to read it.

Baffled and Angry: Have They Forgotten How It Feels?

2007-07-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Don't mind a rant? Read on!

At a meeting last Thursday night, the Executive Director from one of the GLBT advocacy organizations for GLBT persons in the Land of God's Left Hand shared with me a flyer that had been faxed to their office from the Human Rights Campaign.

The flyer came from an organization called "High Impact Leadership Coalition." It features a picture of an African American pastor holding a Bible, with a piece of masking tape across his mouth, with the screaming headline "Don't Muzzle Our Pulpits!" and the statement "We Oppose S1105 -- "The Matthew Shepherd Act.""

Below that text, the flyer reads, "Don't allow misguided compassion to remove America's most basic freedoms of speech, conscience, and the free-exercise of religion."

There are 10 other pictures of African-American pastors, and 20 more names without pictures, as well as churches and organizations they represent, all endorsing the contents of this flyer. Two, I am sorry to say, are from the greater Detroit area: Pastor Marvin Winans of the Perfecting Church, and Bishop Keith A. Butler from Word of Faith Int'l Christian Center.

Here's the small print: "Christian clergymen and people of faith are making a stand for religious liberty. WE OPPOSE S1105, 'the Matthew Shepherd Act.' We believe prosecutors and anti-Christian groups will use loop holes in this proposed legislation to muzzle the church. Unnecessary law suits will bring a chilling affect to the free speech and religious liberty of our churches and our members.
"Expert legal counsel has assured us our concerns are constitutionally based, legally appropriate, and necessary given the litigation-prone society in which we live. Hate crimes statutes already exist in 45 states. Therefore , this legislation is unnecessary, unfair, indefinable, un-American, and constitutionally suspect. We are African Americans, though we represent thousands of Christian leaders of all races. We understand more clearly than most that racially motivated violence can be a form of internal terrorism.
"The Black community needs a free pulpit. Indeed, ALL Americans need free pulpits.
"We urge the Senate to avoid letting misguided compassion take away America's most basic freedoms --our freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the freedom to exercise religion.
"What can you do? We urge all concerned citizens to call their Senators ... and the President ... to express concern regarding S1105.
"We stand in unison AGAINST S 1105.
"Let's Keep Hope Alive!"

I am more baffled and angry about this flyer than others I have seen from other conservative organizations --why?

Because these are people I would have thought would show compassion for victims of hate crimes because of the experiences and history of their community.

Have they forgotten how it felt to have the churches of one's community burned and bombed? In 39 years of ministry, 18 MCC's have been arsoned --in one such arson, in New Orleans, in 1973, 29 people died, including the pastor and the associate pastor. People who remember that event recount how one victim stood at a barred window, trying in vain to get out ... and burned to death before their very eyes. The tragedy was further compounded when many churches and meeting places would not allow MCC to hold funerals and memorials for the victims in their facilities, because of the threat of arson to them. That's very understandable --see how hate crimes have so much potential for damage to a community? Don't Metropolitan Community Churches also deserve a free pulpit? Don't GLBT persons need free pulpits?

Have these pastors forgotten how it felt when someone discovered yet another lynching victim left on display to make clear who's in charge and who's in power? Matthew Shepherd was left on display, hung from a fence ...

Have these pastors forgotten how it feels to have Bible passages quoted in and out of context to justify the beliefs and behaviors of their oppressors? Pro-slavery proponents pointed to numerous Biblical texts that in their opinion supported owning slaves. Racists spoke of the curse of Ham, claiming that, since black people were Ham's children, white folk had the right and the duty to enslave them.

These pastors would say, "We have no choice regarding the color of our skin; we had no choice regarding the institution of slavery. LGBT people have a choice."

I respectfully disagree with them about my sexual orientation being a choice --and the US Constitution that these pastors have such a concern for ALLOWS me to do so, and protects all people of faith, even Christian faith, who hold to, preach and teach a different faith perspective from that of these pastors.

Do these pastors care as much about my religious freedom as they do their own?

Hate crimes committed against GLBT persons --or any representative person of any group --effectively remove these freedoms from the community, and that is exactly what perpetrators of hate crimes want. My right to free speech becomes pointless the moment some self-righteous SOB clocks me in the head with a rock when I speak out about who I am.

Opponents of S1105 would say to me, "In that case, your assailant would be tried for assault. He'd probably be found guilty and do jail time." But nothing would be said against the hatred which motivated the crime --and other perpetrators would continue to feel their actions are justified in some evil sort of way. Kind of like the time in Dallas, 1988, when Judge Jack Hampton sentenced a young murderer to 30 years for a double homicide, the minimum, instead of life in prison, the maximum, because the murderer's victims were gay men. After the hearing, Judge Hampton explained the light sentence with the statement "I don't care much for queers cruising the streets picking up teenage boys. I put prostitutes and gays at about the same level. If these boys had picked up two prostitutes and taken them to the woods and killed them, I'd consider that a similar case. And I'd be hard put to give somebody life for killing a prostitute."

The threat of being the victim of a hate crime also muzzles speech ... and I am sorry to say that I suspect these pastors feel justified in standing against S1105 because they desire to muzzle the speech of GLBT persons, whom they perceive to be sinners as well as a threat to society and thus undeserving of constitutional freedoms.

Sorry this is such a long rant --but it's something I needed to write.

Good Samaritan Fill In The Blank

2007-07-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

OK, so if, desiring fun and light-heartedness, you're looking for my F5 play, scroll down to the next posting ...

If you are thinking about the lectionary texts and contemporary issues, read this post.

So ... what is the best contemporary group for your faith community to identify with the despised Samaritan of Jesus' day and age? Because what is despicable, like what is beautiful, is in the eye of the beholder. Some RGBPs on the Tuesday Lectionary leanings raised the question, who would you willingly accept help from? How would you respond to a person you despise who offers you help? What person from what demographic would most surprise you as a minister of God's help and grace? How would you fill in this blank for yourself? For your faith community? For your denomination?

Luke 10:33 -"But a __________ while traveling came near him [the victim of the robbers]; and when _______ saw him, ________ was moved with pity. "

"But a homosexual person ..." How would that play in your church? How does that play with you?
"But a drag queen ..." How would that play in your church? With you?
"But a young single mother, on welfare, pregnant with her 4th child ..."
"But a drug addict, slightly DUI ..."
"But an HIV positive person ..."

In my churches, we might fill in the blanks this way:

"But a staffer from Focus on the Family ..."
"But a biblical-inerrantist fundamentalist ..."
"But a member of the Eagle Forum ..."

God, of course, desires that all of these folk --all we folk-- treat each other in a love-your-neighbor-as-you-love-yourselves fashion ... especially when we'd prefer to just walk on by, or heaven forbid, do the "see? you got exactly what you deserved" or "hey, what have you done for me lately" sort of thing. Especially when we have our own agendas to which to attend.

F5: Harry Potter or Anything But ...

2007-07-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

Although I enjoy reading the Harry Potter books, I've never seen any of the movies and I don't think I am quite the fan that many of the RGBPs are, so I am answering the "Anything But" F5 option. Thanks Reverend Mother for doing double duty ...

1. Former U.S. First Lady "Lady Bird" Johnson died this week. In honor of her love of the land and the environment, share your favorite flower or wildflower.
My favorite wildflower: bluebonnets, hands down

2. A man flew almost 200 miles in a lawn chair, held aloft by helium balloons. Share something zany you'd like to try someday.
I want to do some storm-chasing, which my partner and many people I talk to think is pretty zany.

3. Do you have an iPhone? If not, would you want one?
No. And more no ... that might just be way too dangerous for my inner geek.

4. Speaking of which, Blendtec Blenders put an iPhone in one of their super-duper blenders as part of their "Will It Blend?" series. What would YOU like to see ground up, whizzed up or otherwise pulverized in a blender?
Some flyers I've seen recently ... I'm not going to write more, because I am trying to keep this light today.

5. According to News of the Weird, a jury in Weld County, Colo., declined to hold Kathleen Ensz accountable for leaving a flier containing her dog's droppings on the doorstep of U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave, apparently agreeing with Ensz that she was merely exercising free speech. What do you think? Is doggy doo-doo protected by the First Amendment?
Angel, my Aussie, thinks so. Pooter and Corky the cats demand equal protection for the contents of their catbox ... and what about bird poop?

Senate Voting On Federal Hate Crimes Legislation Today

2007-07-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Possibly today, at any rate.

If you haven't already done so, please call, e-mail, fax your US Senators and ask them to vote in favor of the Matthew Shepherd Act, S 1105, which will enable local law enforcement officials to seek federal funding and assistance when investigating violent acts against individuals based on the victim's gender, sexual orientation, disability or gender identity.

Contrary to what is being said by some opponents of this bill, this legislation does not negatively impact free speech, so that churches and pastors who teach and preach homosexuality as sin will not be subject to legal action or censure. This legislation is about criminal actions taken against an individual who is representative of a particular demographic, when the purpose of the criminal action is to intimidate an entire group of people.

Please ask your friends to do the same.

Five

2007-07-10T17:24:00.001-07:00

free enneagram test

Yes indeed, I am a five!

Conference Photo and Small RGBP Meet Up

2007-07-10T14:01:00.000-07:00

This is the photo of Rainbow Pastor and me at one of the numerous receptions from our denomination's 2007 General Conference.

RP is the cute one on the left.

For more perspective on this event, see her blog here.

Dismayed

2007-07-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

In the midst of planning for what is rapidly becoming a busy and full week, I took a few minutes to catch up with my blogging sisters and brothers at RGBP ...

I'm not near done catching up and already --Yikes! Some of us are experiencing some really sad and difficult life events.

So I'm praying for individuals whom I know only virtually, yet have become such an important part of my life, whom I count as friends and colleagues.

Even the virtually shared sorrows of those I care for get me in my gut --and heart.

Would Jesus Discriminate?

2007-07-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

Another thing I learned at General Conference is that All God's Children MCC in Minneapolis, MN is in Phase 1 of its very own Would Jesus Discriminate?campaign.

I continue to be very excited about the potential of this effort to educate persons about a different and equally valid Christian faith perspective regarding the full inclusion of GLBT persons into the life of the church.

Trying to figure out how to bring this to my part of the world ... fortunately, I received a "how to" CD Rom in my conference info.

Highlights From The Sweat Lodge Conference

2007-07-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sooo, after a conference induced absence of nearly 13 days, I am finally updating my blog. There's so much to share!

I think Rainbow Pastor has a different name for our denomination's General Conference of 2007 in Scottsdale AZ, but in my mind it will always be the Sweat Lodge Conference because 1400-1500 attendees [1] sweated, a lot, just getting from place to place and [2] it was a wonderful spiritual and educational experience.

Of course, before the actual General Conference itself, we had Clergy Conference, and neatly sandwiched in between was Global Justice Sunday.

I will be reflecting on my experiences in more detail as this week progresses, but here's an hearty appetizer tray:

Rainbow Pastor and I shared some meals and sat together for worship and business meetings fairly often. We laughed a lot --RP even snorted her beverage twice! Watch for a picture to be posted eventually on one or the other of our blogs.
I met some new friends and became better acquainted with several of my colleagues. To some of them I am sending a link to the RGBP webring so they can explore and possibly join up. Or maybe delurk, as the case may be.
We had some GREAT speakers at the Clergy Conference. James B Nelson, of Embodiment fame, spoke about his most recent work in the recovery movement as recounted in his more recent work Thirst, sharing openly about his own alcoholism and subsequent journey out of bondage. Joretta Marshall, formerly of Eden Theological Seminary, now affiliated with TCU's Brite Divinity School, spoke to us gathered clergy on the subject of our brokenness, grace and forgiveness --I think she has a book on this subject coming soon. Then we had a body-work workshop with two very gifted individuals, Kirk Prine and Donnie Lobree, directed at us clergy types to remind us how to listen to and learn from our bodies among many other things.
We had some great preachers and speakers for General Conference too --most of them from other denominations and traditions. So we heard a kick-ass sermon on the doing of justice entitled, "What's Love Got to Do With It" by the Rev. Lynice Pinkard --that CD I am definitely ordering. We heard from Bp. Yvette Flunder, pastor of City of Refuge Church in San Francisco, who is very much an MCC ally. Bp. Carlton Pierson discussed with us what happened to him when he came out as a radical inclusionist [I will be ordering and reading his book The Gospel of Inclusion ASAP] and was rejected as a heretic by his church as well as his Black Pentecostal tradition. Bp. Pierson, by the way, will be featured this Friday on ABC's 20/20 --this is an interview you will not want to miss. Rev. Jay Bakker of Revolution fame shared with us about Jesus and Justice and exclusion as well, as did Peggy Campolo, on the subject of the fellowship of the suffering, those who have suffered exclusion for all kinds of reasons from the church.

You can tell that this was a very full and rich experience ... and I am still trying to digest the feast! But now I'm hungry for brunch, so I'm going to go eat. More later!

Did I Also Mention ...

2007-06-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

... that I'm very busy planning July 8 worship, because I leave Thursday for my denomination's Clergy Conference and General Conference, held back to back in Scottsdale, AZ. [Rainbow Pastor will be there too. Will any of the rest of you? Do we have any other MCC'ers who blog?]

I won't get back in town until 7 pm Saturday July 7, assuming the plane lands on time and so on and so forth.

Tomorrow I get to do a little laundry, buy a few pairs of nice shorts [perfectly acceptable to wear to conference functions in my denomination, thank God, since the temp will be about 110] pack and finish squaring away the things I need to square away before I go.

I want to go to the bookstore and pick up some "light" reading for the plane ride and so forth. Iwant to review the RGBP F5 on books and reading and see what y'all suggest.

An Ugly Truth

2007-06-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

I suppose that ugliness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

I think it is tremendously ugly that some US Senators are receiving 5 calls from the Religious Right against the Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes Bill for every 1 they receive in favor of its passage.

Persons who are victimized by hate crimes because they hold a particular religious perspective --regardless of what that perspective is-- are already protected by hate crimes legislation. It's a shame that some religious people do not want to extend to others a basic right they enjoy.

Watch this.

Please take action here.

Friday Five:Hot Down, Summer In The City ...

2007-06-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

...or town, or suburb, or hamlet, or burg, or unincorporated zone, or rural area of your choice---pretty much anywhere but the southern hemisphere, it's summer. (Australians and others, consider this an invitation to take a break from winter for a while.)

1. Favorite summer food(s) and beverage(s)

Summer foods --anything on the grill; summer beverages --mint iced tea, margaritas, sangria

Now that y'all mention it, I think tonight for dinner I'll make what I call a summer grilled sandwich.

First, build a charcoal fire if you must or else turn on the gas grill.

Then, select some vegetables suitable for grilling --your choice of mushrooms, bell pepper, zucchini, artichoke hearts, onions, eggplant, asparagus or whatever-- cut up in grill sized pieces and marinate in olive oil and garlic.

When the grill is ready, grill what you've selected.

Next, take a loaf of italian bread, unsliced. I've also used rosemary-olive oil bread and bagettes. Cut along the length of the loaf with a bread knife, so that you now have a sandwich top and bottom. Hollow out some of the bread on each half, saving to be used for bread crumbs for a different recipe, or to be dipped in good olive oil and balsamic vinegar while hungry people are waiting.

Brush olive oil on each half of the bread, then spread either pesto or olive tapenade [store bought works great] on each half. Next, if you're not vegan, apply a single layer of provalone cheese to the bottom half. Then next, if you're not vegetarian, apply a layer of prosciutto [italian ham] on top of the cheese, or whatever italian style sandwich meat you might prefer.

When the grilled veggies are done, layer them on top of the cheese/prosciutto on the bottom half of the bread. DH prefers that I process the grilled vegetables in the food processor a bit, to the point of being a very coarse dice, but that's optional. Add at this point fresh, thin-sliced tomatoes. Sprinkle a good portion of parmesan or romano on the veggies. You could sprinkle some dried oregano, basil, rosemary too if you wanted. Put the top half of the sandwich bread on, wrap in foil and return to the grill for about ten minutes until heated through and the cheese melts.

Serve with a good wine and lots of napkins!

2. Song that "says" summer to you. (Need not be about summer explicitly.)

Christine Lavin's "All I Have To Do Is Dream/A Summer Song" Medley --some of you can listen here

3. A childhood summer memory

Cicadas singing in the heat of the day, which is a very "hot" sound for me ... and gathering up their empty shells to place strategically in my sister's car so she would scream when she finally saw them.

4. An adult summer memory

DH luring me into Lake Michigan in early June, clamping her teeth shut so they would not chatter and licking her lips so that they would not turn blue: "Come in --the water's GRRRREEEAAT ..."

5. Describe a wonderful summer day you'd like to have in the near future. (weather, location, activities)

Beautiful sunny day, temp about 88, beach on a nearby Great Lake. DH, me, swimming, relaxing, walking, eating a picnic lunch of wine, cheese and fruit. For once, RDQ remembers to apply sunscreen .... which she usually forgets, which means blisters, peeling, aloe vera and vinegar baths

Optional: Does your place of worship do anything differently in the summer? (Fewer services, casual dress, etc.) Not really

One More Weird Thing

2007-06-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

Oh ... and did I mention that my great-to-the-12th power grandfather has gone down in history for making William Penn's life miserable?

Somewhere in the archives for the great state of Pennsylvania, there's a letter my ancestor wrote to William Penn, complaining that Penn had not dealt fairly in his purchase of/setting aside land for my ancestor. There's also some pamphlets my ancestor wrote, that got him kicked out of meeting in 1717 ... the minutes of that particular meeting often include my ancestor's name, and in every mention my ancestor is pretty well being a royal pain-in-the anatomy to somebody, whether it's the widow who refused his attentions or the man that widow eventually chose.

Where Have I Been/Eight Weird Things About Me

2007-06-21T12:23:00.001-07:00

Weeeellllllll ... I haven't blogged lately, cuz' ...

My brother and sister-n-law drove up from Texas to visit me here in Michigan. This past weekend, DH and I took them to:

touristy faux-German community here in Mid-Michigan featuring the world's biggest kitschy Christmas store, German food and German beer
drive over the Mighty Mac bridge and see 2 of 5 Great Lakes for the first time
visit a wonderful victorian era island, home of fudge, horse-poop and unsteady bicyclists
meet and spend the night with DH's brother
wade in the third prettiest lake in the whole wide world, or so DH claims
eat at what must be Michigan's one and only Cajun restaurant [and it was wonderful!]
visit Michigan's wine country, sample and buy a half-case of Michigan wines --every bottle came from a different store
visit a Michigan cheese factory/store and purchase fresh cheese curds to be deep-fried at home, as well as some other stuff, including a loaf of cheese bread which did not make it to my house intact
eat Koegel's hotdogs

But before they arrived here, we put in a new, orderly, colorful flower bed where once wilderness and chaos and overgrowth reigned. This included pulling 7 or 8 old shrub/tree stumps with DH's pickup and a heavy duty chain, spading and turning the soil by hand with shovels, installing flower bed edging, hoeing big clods of soil, adding 25 bags of top-soil, transplanting some hostas and some ornamental grasses, planting a dozen new perrenials, planting 4 flats of annuals and spreading 20 [?] bags of mulch, as well as setting out about 8 planters and a few items of yard-art.

I hope to post before-after pics before I leave for our denomination's General Conference next Thursday --maybe Rainbow Pastor and/or I will have the opportunity to blog a little from there. I've been preparing for that trip a little ...

But in the meantime, when I have had opportunity to snatch time here and there to read blogs, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the "8 weird things about me" meme that many RGBPs have posted, and I'm going to take Will Smama up on her offer to consider myself tagged and go for it ...

1. My second name is my real name. I don't use my first name. My first name is the same as my mother's name --she didn't go by her first name either. My first name is also the same as my grandmother's first name --and she didn't go by her first name either. Why they named me that first name is beyond me!

2. I have performed in two drag shows as a drag king.

3. I have moved 17 times in the last 18 years.

4. I have tasted gasoline [quite by accident]. Contrary to what DH says, whiskey does not taste like gasoline ... Nothing tastes quite like a nice Octane 87, Chateau Du Texaco.

5. I have tasted dry dog food [because the same older brother that recently visited me fed it to me when I was a toddler]. It's mostly salty, as much as I can remember. I think I liked it, because they had to break me out of the habit of eating it. Parents, take note.

6. I rear-ended a Pinto [gas tank in rear] with my mother's VW beetle [gas tank in front] and lived to tell about it. I have a crescent-shaped scar in the center of my forehead as a permanent souvenir.

7. When I moved up here to the Land of God's Left Hand, I became suddenly allergic to the red ink in my tattoos, and scratched them in my sleep until all of the red ink disappeared.

8. One of my great-g-g-grandmother's name was Freelove, which took me forever to figure out from the census image on Ancestry.com. I think she came from Puritan stock, not Hippie ... I also have a G-g-g-g-g-g-grandfather Tunis. On second thought, maybe I'm glad my first name is what it is --it could be worse!

Th-t-t-t-t-that's, all folks! Now I am leaving for Big City in Southeast part of the state for a Creating Change meeting. Ciao!