The Quixotic Pastor

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Angel Dog Goes To Church

Shhhh!!!! Don't tell my mama I'm playing on the church PC ... she'll yell at me and tell me to go lie down.

This past Sunday, I went to worship with my mama, Rev Dona Quixote, to be blessed, whatever that is. I had never gone to worship with her before ... she says I may never go with her again, but we'll see. I'll just wiggle my butt at her ['cuz someone docked my tail so I can't wag what I don't have] and bark and get all excited and Mama Dear Heart will talk her into taking me along.

Mama Dear Heart went too ... and that nasty dog Boy they INSISTED on taking! He's a golden receiver --much more a receiver than a retriever-- and all he does is drool and pee. Yucccckkk! Because he stinks, he had to ride in the back of the pickup in a kennel, but I got to ride in the backseat, 'cuz I know how to behave in a car. You're just supposed to sit down, stare out the window and nose-print and fog up the glass, and occasionally lean into the front seat to give kisses. Besides, I smell like a dog supposed to, 'cuz I don't pee on myself. I know this, but Boy doesn't. I would have much rather they'd taken Pooter, the big fat gray tabby cat [he and I have an understanding] or even Corky, the Spazz Kitty Calico who is just plain WEIRD, but they didn't ask me.

Anyway, when we got there, Mama Dona said something about setting stuff up. Then other people --and other dogs!!!-- started showing up. There was Nina, who Mama Dona petted and I snapped at 'cuz she's MY mama and just who does this other dog think she is???!!!!???

... and Bailey, the little golden Peke that looks like a dustmop with a cute perky expression. And Jack and LC, the little fuzzy poodle-looking doggies. Fred, a big, black quiet Lab mix ... and Cody, a little Jack Russell who was very nervous about all of us and kind of a mama's boy. He had to stay in his kennel.

There were no cats, at least not in person, so to speak, I'm sorry to say, because I like cats [they taste like chicken ... except for Pooter and Corky of course] but two ladies did bring pictures of their two cats for blessing. They were handsome kitties too, Lill and Chloe. Wonder what they taste like ...?

Anyway, we all gathered outside in a circle, and then Mama Dona started talking. Loudly. About God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit --that's a bird, but no one brought any birds with them. Then all the people sang. Mama Dona wouldn't take my leash, even when I barked at her, and I gave Mama Dear Heart fits, pulling on the chain ... but the good news is that Mama Dear Heart gave Boy away to one of Bailey's moms so I received Mama Dear Heart's undivided attention!!!! I had to snap and bark at that Nina dog a time or two, just to keep her in her place, even though she was clear across the patio from me.

It really concerned me that Mama Dona was ignoring me and giving attention to all these other animals!!!! At one point, Mama Dona went to that Nina dog again [!!!!] and petted her head and told her she was blessed in the name of God, and then Mama went to almost every other dog before she went to me --only Cody came after me --what am I, chopped liver????!!!!??? I barked a lot trying to get Mama's attention, and Mama Dear Heart kept clamping her hand around my muzzle and hissing at me [Mama Dear Heart has this thing about the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Milan] but I .... WANTED... MY... MAMA.

Finally, Mama Dona took my leash --O Happy Day! I laid down right next to her feet, while she passed a basket that the humans put money in and I was the happiest dog in the world! No need to bark, just lie there and grin. Mama Dear Heart gave me a really dirty look.

But, that didn't last long. Mama Dona and everybody talked together, then everybody else was quiet and shut their eyes while my Mama talked ... then I had to go back to Mama Dear Heart.
Then Mama Dona went to the table and broke some bread!!! Wooeeee!!! Food!!!! Mama Dear Heart and I went up to get some, but Mama Dona wasn't going to give me any! Mama Dear Heart slipped me some anyhow, even though Mama Dona said no --Mama Dear Heart is such a softy when it comes to treats. [Later, on the way home, Mama Dona explained to Mama Dear Heart why she shouldn't have done that, but Mama Dear Heart didn't agree ...]

Then all the humans sang some more and hugged each other and petted us ... then we all went home.

I'm not sure how I feel about this experience ... except that now I know why Mama Dona leaves early Sunday morning and doesn't come home until Sunday evening and I have to watch for her by the front door all day ...

Oh no! Here she comes!

Angel!!!!! Get off!!!! Go lie down!!!!!!


  • At 9:43 PM , Blogger revabi said...

    You can come to my church anytime.
    So glad you are a blessed love dog.
    What Dona don't know, won't hurt. I'll keep a secret.

    You got two people who love you.

  • At 12:12 PM , Blogger LutheranChik said...

    I'm a Maltese named Cody -- my human calls me "crotchety" and "nuts," but I prefer to think of myself as seasoned and appealingly eccentric. I heard about that soiree you were having, and wanted to go to it, along with my two blonde retriever girlfriends Katy and Cassie and my cat-friend Molly (she's pretty cool for one of them)...but my human and her friend just started laughing and making jokes about how we needed exorcisms, not blessings. Hello! I'm sitting right here! Anyway...the two of them said thanks for the e-mail and the directions, and that they might stop by some Sunday. Without us. Good riddance, I say.


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