The Quixotic Pastor

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I didn't mean to sound whiny

Since the software system I work on at work is waaaay down, a serious crash, I have extra time in my day.

To offset what might be received as the whininess of my last post, I ought to say that I am GLAD that ...

... I am the pastor to a small, yet wonderful community of people to whom it is my privilege to teach the Bible to this evening. We're finishing up a unit on "where the Bible came from" in which they get to learn how the Bible came to be.

... my partner DH still loves me --February next year will be our tenth anniversary.

I think in general I'm just experiencing a little "middle-aged" crazy right now. A real honest to God day off will help --and soon I will get one. think I'll find someone to preach for me on a Sunday soon, so I can take the weekend to putter around the house and do small things that give me joy, like simple yardwork and simple repairs --or maybe DH and I will escape somewhere closeby for a weekend.

I have been thinking about decorating my cubie here at work since it appears I may become more of a permanent fixture around here than I first anticipated. There will be many prayer texts and my own personal iconography, as well as pictures of DH and I together, which should generate some interesting questions, discussions and stories. But I haven't had the time at home to select what I want. This weekend, which is anticipated to be a rainy one, will be a good time for that.

MIA and Wishing and Waiting

I feel like I'm missing-in-action!

First, I am waaaay behind on blogging, thanks to my 52 hour per week work schedule and a few family crises:

We carried Angel the Aussie in to the vet about two weeks ago and were told that she had fluid in her chest cavity [not the same as in her lungs] about which not much can be done. The vet said we could try lasik to see if we could get the fluid out and if that didn't work, we'd probably have to put her down. Good news --the lasik is working fabulously, but we do have to make sure she gets outside more to do her business. There's a very real possibility that some kind of cancer is involved --but there appears to be a lot of life left in the ol' girl yet.

The period of unseasonably warm weather here in Michigan meant time to do various springtime chores --replace the storm windows with screens [otherwise we would have baked in our house] rake the leaves out of the front flowerbeds so the perennials coming back could be healthy, prune the trees before the leaves come and the drop off the branches at the lawn debris place and so forth.

Then Sunday before last, DH had to make a flying trip down to Pontiac to take her mom to the hospital --Pistol [that is DH's mom's blog name] sure enough had pneumonia. This coincided with a very difficult and stressful work week for DH so I made several trips after work in the evenings to tag team with DH visiting her mom and checking up on her, which made for some pretty long days.

While Pistol was in the hospital, she received word that her last surviving sibling and favorite brother had died from the effects of Alzheimers.

Our oldest cat, Corky the Crazy Calico, 17 years old, is having grave difficulty walking [she walks like a drunken sailor on a 3-day leave] and we're debating whether her time has come or not. On the other hand, she can still leap up on the bed, the chair, the couch. She doesn't appear to be in pain, one of her back legs just seems to not work the way it is supposed to.

But I also feel like I'm MIA because I don't have the time or the freedom to be the activist I once was.

While I am very grateful to have the job I do have right now, because I need the paycheck and because the state of the economy scares me, and this company wants to hire me on their payroll as opposed to the temp agency's [in fact one of the things I had to do last week was complete an application online], I really don't like the work. It is quite boring. And I am not convinced I fit in very well here.

I am suddenly feeling very lonely these days.

So I am on the lookout for other possibilities ...

I do not like having to choose between living and making a living.

But that's a choice my congregants often have to make as well, especially in these economic times.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

200th post and "For The Bible Tells Me So"

Yes indeed, post 200 ...

Last night, I finally was able to watch the documentary, For The Bible Tells Me So which featured five US families coping with having an LGBT child and dealing with all of the surrounding faith issues.

If full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life of the church is something you are struggling with, or people you know are struggling with, I hope you'll take an hour and a half out of your life to view this award winning documentary.

Here's a few "moments" I experienced when I watched:

Seeing actual hate mail that Bp. Gene Robinson received. The scariest piece was the one that featured a picture of +Gene and his partner Mark, with a death threat clearly spelled out in cut out letters.

Hearing Rev Mel White describe the experience of sitting across from a Presbyterian faith leader who said that homosexual persons should be put to death. Mel asked the man if church people should do that. The man's response was that, no, secular authorities should take care of it --that's why it was so important to put "god-fearing men" in political office.

Listening to the confession of a broken-hearted parent whose lesbian daughter committed suicide before they could reconcile. The last words this mother and daughter exchanged were harsh and angry ... exchanged via mail ... Mary Lou Wallner, in the aftermath of her daughter's death founded with her husband Bob TEACH Ministries

Seeing Jake Reitan, and his parents Phil and Randi, together attempt to deliver a letter Randi had written to Dr James Dobson. When Soulforce showed up on Focus on The Family's doorstep that year, their offices closed down rather than risk being confronted by people who disagree with Dr. Dobson on homosexuality. The Reitan family was warned that they would be arrested for trespassing if they crossed onto Focus property. They walked on together. Phil Reitan's comment was that James Dobson had been persecuting the Reitan family for years.

Anyway, check out this movie when you have opportunity.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Catching Up

Whew. So my blog has been a casualty of my recent 52-55 working hours a week lifestyle [full-time secular job, part time church job], and Spring sunshine to some degree, but I hope that can change.

I am feeling isolated a bit from many friends and peers, because I have no ready access to a phone while I am at work [unless I'm at lunch or on break], can't Skype or IM people, can't spend much time in Facebook, etc etc etc.

On the other hand, having a bigger and better paycheck is allowing me to better sustain myself and DH, and that is important right now.

I'll blog more later, perhaps after Dancing With the Stars --DH and I have a regular standing date to watch that show.